Two Cities
by cascadingshades
Summary: What if when Ana left Christian at the end of book one she never returned? it's 5 years later before Ana returns to Seattle for Kate's wedding, only she's not alone...
1. Chapter 1

**Hi everyone.**

 **So while writing one of my other stories the idea for this story popped into my head.**

 **Don't worry i'll continue to write my other stories.**

 **I will be adding several Chapters of this story today so please let me know what you think**

 **and if you think I should continue. x**

* * *

I had finally finished my last call for the day. It has been a long day, trying to get everything sorted so I'm not constantly on the phone while I'm away at my friend's wedding this weekend. I still can't believe I'm going back to Seattle, I haven't been back properly in 5 years and I'm only going back now because Kate's finally getting married to Elliot. I flew in for a day, nearly two years ago and in that time, all I saw was the inside of Kate's hospital room as she had Ava. I sigh and gather my things as I head out of my office.

"I fly back Monday evening, but if there's anything urgent just call or email me." I smile at my assistant Brittany.

"I will. Have a good time Miss Steele." She smiles, and I roll my eyes as I head for the door, no matter how many times I've told her to call me Ana, she still insists on Miss Steele.

I check my watch and speed up a bit, luckily, I'm only five blocks away but I hate being late. I smile at the woman at reception as she buzzes me through.

"Mommy."

I smile as a copper-haired little girl comes barrelling up to me as I enter the room.

"hey princess, did you have a good day?" I smile as I walk her to her cubby to get her coat and bag. She nods happily as she pulls on her coat before running off to grab something. She comes back with two pictures she has obviously drawn today.

"I made grandpa some pictures." She smiles showing me the brightly coloured pictures.

"There fantastic Madzie, I'm sure grandpa will love them." I smile at her as we head towards the door. Madzie chats happily away about her day the whole way home, I swear this child could talk forever, but I love how carefree and happy she is, and I'll do anything to keep it that way. Her long hair hanging in two braids bounces as she skips along next to me. She looks so much like Christian, the thought pops into my head before I can push it away. I haven't thought about him for years. He doesn't know about Madzie, after what he did, and I saw how much he got off on hurting someone, there's no way I'm letting him near her. The only people who know about Madzie is my mom, Ray and Kate. I caved and ended up telling Kate at the hospital as I cuddled the newborn Ava; I made her promise not to tell anyone even Elliot as he's Christian's brother. She hated keeping a secret from him but promised not to tell. I didn't know I was pregnant until a couple of months after I broke it off with Christian and by then I had already left and was staying with my mom then. My mom tried to get me to tell Christian and I really did think about it, but every time I imagine telling him, I see his anger boiling over and his need to punish take control. I won't hide who her daddy is from Madzie if she asks, but she never has.

Madzie and I live in a two-bed apartment in New York. It maybe small but it's home, we moved in when Madzie was about three, before that we were crammed into a small bedsit. When I got my promotion to fiction editor it came with a nice pay rise, making it possible for us to move.

"come on let's finish packing your clothes." I smile as Madzie drops her bag near the door and strips off her coat and shoes.

"I want to choose." Madzie whines as she rushes ahead of me into her room. I walk into her room and find Madzie examining her row of dresses. She's obsessed with dresses and refuses to wear trousers or shorts; It must be either a dress or skirt.

"Ok you will need three outfits." I smile at her as I grab the small wheeled suitcase out from under her bed. I grab everything else she'll need why she chooses and pack them before heading into my room to do the same. Just as I was zipping up my bag Madzie walks in carrying her favourite dress up dress.

"Mommy can I please take this to grandpa's?" she pleads with her big blue eyes. I can't help but smile at her, she's obsessed with anything princess and loves to dress up as one. If she could I think she'd live in her dress up clothes. Her favourite is Frozen, she is obsessed with it and refuses to sleep without her Elsa, Ana and Olaf teddies. she watches the movie near enough every day.

"Ok just that one though." I smile and she bounce's up and down happily. "Have to chosen your clothes?" I ask as I head back to her room.

"Yep." She says popping the 'p'. I roll my eyes at her cheekiness, sure enough there on the bed is three of her favourite dresses. I was just zipping up her bag when the doorbell rang.

"Hey, we're nearly ready." I smile as I open the door to let him in.

"Nathan!" Madzie calls happily as she seems him, running up to him so he scoops her up in his arms.

"Hey munchkin. You all packed?" He smiles at her, and Madzie smiles and nods

"Err…no you're not, unless you don't want to take any toys with you." I smile at her holding out her backpack. Madzie gasps and wriggles to get down. Nathan puts her down and she quickly grabs her bag and runs off to her room, making me laugh. Nathan places a hand on my waist and gently kisses me on the lips.

"You ready?" he smiles at me, and I know he's talking about going back to Seattle. Me and Nathan have been dating for nearly six months now. I had bumped into him at one of my client's book signing tours, he had been staying at the same hotel as me. it was on the rare occasion I couldn't get anyone else to go, so my mom came up to watch Madzie while I did the book tour. We were in Ohio when we met, though we both lived in New York and we quickly hit it off.

"as I'll ever be." I sigh. In truth I'm dreading the wedding, knowing he'll be there, but I wasn't going to let that stop me from going to Kate's wedding.

It was late when we landed in Seattle and headed for the hotel. Nathan had insisted on hiring a car for us instead of using public transport and had booked us into an expensive hotel. Nathan comes from a well-off family and runs a very well-established software company, he's nowhere near the league Christian is financially but he's still doing very well for himself. I met his parents a few weeks ago at a family dinner, to celebrate his brother's birthday, they seemed nice enough, though I don't think they like the idea of me already having a child. They have yet to meet Madzie. Nathan hasn't met any of my family yet, he'll be meeting Ray on this trip, when he arrives to watch Madzie while we head to the wedding.


	2. Chapter 2

"Wow! Mommy you look beautiful." Madzie smiles as I walk into the lounge area of our suite, fully dressed for the wedding.

"That she does." Nathan smiles as he looks me up and down making me blush. The dress has a white lace bodice with a light pink flowing knee length skirt; I've left my hair down and added curls. Nathan with his fair skin, dark brown hair and chocolate brown eyes, looked mouth-watering in his dark navy suit, with the jacket open, and a white shirt, with the

top button undone.

Knock Knock

I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face as I opened the door and saw Ray standing there.

"Grandpa!" Madzie gushed as she barrelled into him before he even got through the door.

"you're getting big." Ray smiled as he scooped her up, "How old are you now? 12?" he added making Madzie laugh.

"NO! Four!" she laughed making Ray chuckle.

"Thanks for doing this dad." I smile

"Anytime." Ray smiled at me. "Just wished you lived closer so it could be more often."

I nodded, I missed him too, we only see him a few times a year now, though we talk on the phone every week.

"Dad This is Nathan." I introduce, my stomach twisting uncomfortably as Ray turns to look at Nathan. Oh god! The last guy I introduce to Ray was Christian at my graduation, that feels like a lifetime ago.

"Nice to finally meet you Mr, Steele." Nathan smiled as he held out a hand to Ray. Ray shook it eyeing him up.

"call me Ray." Ray finally said with a small smile as he released Nathan's hand. "Shouldn't you two be off? Don't want you to be late." Ray added looking at me. I nod and quickly grab my clutch bag

"You be good for Grandpa ok." I smile at Madzie and kiss on the head.

"we'll be fine, go." Ray smiled

"Bye mommy, bye Nathan" Madzie waves happily as Ray puts her down. "I made you something Grandpa, come see." She adds as she grabs Rays hand pulling him towards her room as I hand Ray my key card to the room, before Nathan is ushering me out.

Kate and Elliot's wedding is being held at Elliot's parents' house which is only a short drive from our hotel, but my stomach is in complete knots as Nathan pulls up the driveway and joins the line of cars waiting for valet.

"This is Elliot's parents' house?" Nathan asks looking up at the stunning stone mansion impressed. I just nod, not sure I could say anything, what if everyone hates me? I mean I wouldn't blame them, I up and left, never looking back. I feel Nathan's hand on my thigh bring me back to the here and now. I smile at him sweetly as we move up the line. Finally, a gentleman opened my door and helped me out, before taking the keys from Nathan to park the car. Nathan wrapped his arm around my waist as we followed the navy carpet laid out leading the way.

"Oh! Please don't mention Madzie." I suddenly say looking at Nathan. He gives me an inquisitive frown.

"Ana?" someone called before I could explain.

"Please." I whisper as I turn to see who had called me. There walking up to us was Mia and Kate's brother Ethan, holding hands. When did that happen?

"I thought that was you." Mia smiled before surprising me even more and pulling me into a hug. "It's so good to see you again." She gushed as I pulled out of the hug

"It is?" I say before I could stop myself as I feel Nathan's hand on the small of my back.

"of course." Mia laughed happily,

"None of us could believe Kate finally got the infamous Ana back in Seattle." Ethan laughed. "hey Ana. It's been a long time." He smiles and hugs me, I haven't seen Ethan since my graduation and I couldn't help the smile spread across my face.

"It's good to see you." I smile, "But I'm pretty sure you're exaggerating." I laugh the last part.

"Nope, he's not." Mia says still her bouncy self before her eyes wander to Nathan.

"Oh, I'm sorry, this is Nathan." I gush, "Nathan this is Mia, Elliot's sister and Ethan Kate's brother." I introduce

"Nice to meet to you." Ethan smiles shaking Nathan's hand, followed by Mia.

"OMG Kate is going to freak when she sees you." Mia bounces as she suddenly hooks her arm in mine leading the way. "You look fantastic by the way, I love the dress." Mia babbles happily and I can't help but smile and roll my eyes at her. She is still her carefree happy self.

"So, do you." I smile before glancing back to see Nathan and Ethan tagging along slowly behind. "So, you and Ethan huh? When did that happen?" I ask, and Mia's smile widen

"Going on nearly a year now." She smiles "Sorry boys, no guys allowed." She smiles behind us at Nathan and Ethan as we get to some patio doors. I look at Nathan apologetically and he just smiles

"I'll look after him." Ethan laughs at my expression.

"Come on." Mia urged as she dragged me into the house. She knocked and entered room down the corridor.

"Look who I found." Mia smiles into the room before dragging me in.

"Ana!"

There standing in front of a floor length mirror is Kate in a Stunning lace wedding dress.

"Kate, you look stunning." I gush as she rushes over and pulls me into a hug.

"God I've missed you." Kate gushes

"me too." I say hugging her tightly back.

"oh no, no crying you two, you'll ruin your makeup." Mia beams making Kate and I laugh as we pull out of the hug wiping our eyes. That's when I notice there is someone else in the room.

"Hello Ana, dear." Grace smiles at me as she holds a little blonde curly haired girl, Ava.

"Hello Mrs Grey." I smile shyly.

"Please, call me Grace." She smiled as she hugged me. ok seriously what is going on? Why are they all being nice? I was the one who hurt Christian by leaving him. or maybe I was wrong, maybe I didn't hurt him, maybe me leaving was exactly what he wanted. God I'm so confused. "You look beautiful dear."

"thank you, Kate said there was a colour theme for the guests." I babble not sure why I was saying it.

"You didn't tell her?" Grace smiled at Kate, making Kate smile and bouncy on her heels like Mia.

"Tell me what?" I ask looking from one to the other.

"I wanted to make sure she came first." Kate gushed to Grace.

"I promised you I would." I say to Kate, suddenly feeling guilty for all the times I've cancelled because of Madzie. "I have a lot going on in New York, it's really hard to get away." I say giving her a pointed look, she knows why I cancel.

"Well you're here now." Grace smiles kindly

"Ana will you be my maid of honour?" Kate gushes excitedly

"Wait what?" I ask shocked, "but Mia?" Kate had told me Mia was her maid of honour.

"Oh no it's fine, I'm a bridesmaid." Mia smiles happily

"Please Ana. I've missed you so much, I want you to be part of my wedding, because if it wasn't for you and Ch…" she stops herself from saying his name when she saw my expression, "…me and Elliot would never have met." And I couldn't help but think if it weren't for Kate I would never have met Christian.

…But then you wouldn't have Madzie, my subconscious added.

I sigh and look at Kate's pleading eyes and finally nod, making Kate practically squeal with excitement, making me laugh

There was a knock at the door

"How are we looking? Everyone's seated." Carrick called through the door not opening it

"Nearly ready, five minutes." Grace called before Mia and Grace started rushing around touching up makeup, checking our hair and gathering our flowers.

"What about Nathan?" I suddenly ask as we get ready to walk down the aisle.

"don't worry Ethan seated him and explained." Mia smiled as the music starts to play.

"You go after me and Ethan ok." Mia whispered at me as Elliot walks down the aisle followed by Grace and Carrick, followed by Kate's mother. Mia walked out and Joined Ethan before hooking her arm with his before they start walking. I turn to Kate, smile and hug her before walking out ready to walk down the aisle and there he was walking out of where the groomsmen have been staying, Christian. He stops in his tracks when he sees me. My stomach flips and twists at the sight of him, in a light grey tux.

"Anastasia." He gasps, I turn and look at Kate pleadingly. Don't make me do this. But she just ushers me with her spare hand as Ava was in the other. I sigh and turn back to find him standing next to me. He offers his arm, but I just ignore him and start walking.

CPOV

I can't believe she's here. Elliot had told me Kate had invited her, but we all thought she wouldn't come. I chance a glance at her as we walk down the aisle. She's still as stunning as ever, her hair is shorter, coming to her shoulders. She doesn't look at me once, she just takes her place next to Mia and I give Elliot a very pointed look, as I stand next to him; why didn't he tell me she was here. He just shrugs looking as shocked as me. apparently, he didn't know. Elliot crouches down next to me and I can't help but smile as I see little Ava waddle down the aisle with her little basket. Her face lights up when she sees Elliot and she waddles faster. I can't help but glance at Ana and I'm surprised to see her looking at me, though she quickly looks away. The Music changes and everyone stands for the bride. I chance another look at her and she's smiling at someone in the crowd. I follow her gaze and see a dark-haired guy smiling back as he snaps a picture of her, making her blush. Who is this fucker? I feel my anger twist awake.

Why the fuck does you care who he is? She left you remember. My annoying subconscious argues.

You know fucking why, I shout silently back at it.

I look back at Ana and my anger ebbs away as I see her holding Ava and talking quietly to her pointing at Kate and Elliot happily.


	3. Chapter 3

APOV

The ceremony was beautiful and before long we were all seated for the meal, I'm surprised again to find Nathan and I at the Head table with everyone. Everyone chatted away happily. It was a large circular table, so everyone could see everyone. I sat on Kate's right and Christian was on Elliot's left.

"You really do look breath-taking." Nathan breaths into my ear as his arm goes around the back of my chair as dinner was over and dessert was in the process of being served. I can't help but smile at him as I feel myself blush, making him smile wider at me, he loves to make me blush.

"So, Ana what is it you do in New York?" Carrick suddenly asks smiling kindly at me

"I'm a fiction editor." I smile

"wow I've always wanted to go to New York. Is it as glamorous as people say?" Smiled a skinny beautiful brunette who sat next to Christian, his date, if I remember correctly from introductions her name is Stacey. I smile and take a sip of my drink as she had clearly cut Carrick off from what he was about to say.

"I love it there. I would say the glamour of New York has worn off now I've been there for 5 years, but your never short on things to do." I smile kindly at her and I can feel everyone watching us, but Stacey seems oblivious, maybe I'm just imagining it.

"What is it you do Stacey?" Mia asks, surprising me, have they not met before? I can't believe he brought a sub to the wedding, he told me he never does that.

"I'm working as a Hotel manager at the Four seasons now while I study for my law degree." Stacey smiles and my stomach twists, that's the hotel we are staying in.

"How's that going?" Carrick asks kindly

"I've only just started my first year, but it's going good so far." Stacey smiles at Carrick shyly.

"What do you do Nathan? Do you live in New York also?" Ethan asks

Nathan nods as his fingers gently stroke my back, "I grew up in New York, my whole family live there. I run a software development company."

"Talking about New York isn't there something your meant to show me." Kate said quietly as she elbowed me smiling happily. I quickly glance around the table and they were all listening to the discussion about Nathan's company. I grabbed my purse and pulled out my phone. I found my latest photo of Madzie, it was at her 4th birthday party, she was wearing the Elsa dress Kate had sent her for her birthday.

"Beautiful," Kate beamed, she flicked to the next one which was a video of her dancing to Frozen, I quickly turned the volume down so no one could hear, and Kate laughed as she twirled around the room.

"So, Ana how long have you and Nathan been together?" Mia suddenly asked, and I look up to see them all watching Kate and me. I quickly click the phone off

"Err we met nearly 6 months ago now." I smiled feeling my stomach twist at the thought of them watching me and Kate. I knew it was a bad idea showing her, but she had been insistent in our phone calls that I let her see the picture of Madzie wearing the dress. Madzie had said Thank you to Kate over one of our skype sessions, and she has met Kate the few times she had come to visit me, Madzie loves Ava and constantly asks about when she'll see her again as Kate had brought her with her a few times. "We were both staying at the same hotel for business and bumped into each other at the bar." I babble smiling. I can feel Christian staring at me, but I ignore him. what is with him? I'm grateful as Carrick suddenly brings the room to attention ready for the speech's taking the focus off me. Carrick, Kate's dad and Christian all gave speeches, I'm grateful Kate didn't expect me to give one.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, it's time for the first dance." The music coordinator announces, and everyone claps as Elliot stands and takes Kate's hand walking her to the dance floor

"Ladies and Gentlemen, MR and Mrs Grey." The music coordinator announces and Train – Marry Me starts playing and everyone stands and walks to the edge of the dance floor as they start to slow dance. Nathan wraps his arm around me, so my back is flush with his chest and kisses my neck, making me smile and blush.

"I can't wait to get you out of this dress." He whispers into my ear after a while of just holding me and I can't help but quietly laugh and turn around in his embrace and he gives me his stunning smile before kissing me on the lips. The music ends and a new song starts' Nathan steps back out of the embrace

"May I have this dance Miss Steele." He grins charmingly and holds his hand out to me.

"You may Mr Harper." I laugh at his playfulness and place my hand in his and he walks us onto the dance floor. He twirls me before pulling me to him to dance making me laugh again.

"How much have you drunk?" I laugh and in turn makes him laugh. I guess I'm driving back to the hotel, but I don't mind.

"Ethan introduce me to the bar before the ceremony." He smiles guilty making me laugh again.

"can't take you anywhere Mr Harper." I joke smiling at him before he spins me again.

"So why no mentioning Madzie?" Nathan asks after we dance in compatible silence for a few moments. "I mean I know Kate knows about her."

"it's complicated." I sigh as I look over his shoulder at the other dancing couples.

"He's here isn't he."

"Who?" I ask confused looking at Nathan

"Her father." He says looking me straight in the eyes. I sigh and nod.

"Well I'm guessing it's not Elliot." Nathan says, and I laugh making Nathan smile.

"No definitely not Elliot." I smile

"Ok then," he looks around the room at all the guests. The dance floor was nearly full now, there was a lot of guests. "out of everyone here, I'm thinking its got to be either Ethan or Christian…and considering how Christian keeps staring at you. I'm guessing him." Nathan says looking at me, I don't need to say anything he can see it on my face, he nods and looks around the room again, "And he doesn't know? Or doesn't care?" he asks

"no one knows here apart from Kate and I'd like to keep it that way." I sigh and look at Nathan. He looks at me and nods and leans down and kisses me slow and affectionately.

"I'll take care of the both of you." He breaths as he pulls out of the kiss, "You know I love the little munchkin." He smiles and gives me another kiss on the lips.

Someone coughs and we both turn to see Elliot standing there smirking at us. "Can I butt in?" he asks Nathan as he looks from him to me.

Nathan looks at me for my approval, I smile, and nod and he releases me to Elliot.

"So how does it feel to be married." I smile at him as we dance

"Can't believe I finally got her down the aisle, especially since she found out she's pregnant again, she kept threatening to cancel because she thought she'd look fat in her dress." Elliot laughed

"Yeah I remember." I laugh as I remember all the phone calls about this issue.

"I'm glad you two have stayed such good friends." Elliot smiles, "She loves you Ana."

"I know me too." I smile, and we dance in silence for a few moments.

"So…how is my niece?" Elliot suddenly blurts out and my head snaps to him

"You know?" I gasp, momentarily stopping my dancing. Elliot turns us, so I start again. "When did she tell you?" I ask quietly

"After she came back from her last visit." Elliot says quietly watching me trying to gage my reaction. I frown trying to remember the last time Kate came to visit me in New York. Ava was nearly a year old, and Kate had just found out she was pregnant again and had come to visit panicking about raising two kids under 2 years old.

"That was 5 months ago" I snap. "You've known that long?"

Elliot nods, "Don't be mad at her, she didn't want to go into our marriage with a secret." Elliot pleads still watching me closely. I sigh and look over his shoulder and nod, I can understand that. Then I see Grace watching us, she looks worried. I freeze and step out of his arms as reality hits me. "They all know." I say and it's not really a question. Its why they've all been playing nice, they had a plan.

"I told them, after I found out." Elliot nods

"Even?" I glance over at him, he's dancing with Stacey, his back to us.

"Yes." Elliot says quietly.

"Unfucking believable." I snap. "Enjoy your wedding Elliot." I say as I look at him before storming away.

"Ana wait." Elliot calls after my retreating back. Nathan is at my side in an instant.

"Baby what's wrong?" He asks worriedly

"I'm going home." I say, and I think he knows I don't mean the hotel. He nods and quickly grabs my purse of the table for me.

"Ana please let's just talk about this." Grace says rushing up to me as I head for the exit. Nathan quickly walks ahead to hand the keys to the valet. God, I hope he is fast. "We just want to see her." Grace gushes as I momentarily stop to wait for the car.

"They know?" Nathan says as his head snaps from looking for the car to me.

"Yes!" I snap, "Apparently for a while now." I add as the valet finally pulls up, I'm at the driver's door before he gets out.

"Ana!" It's him. I look up to see all the Greys heading towards me. I just shake my head and get in and put the car in drive before Nathan has even finished putting his seatbelt on. I glance once in the rear view as I turn out of the drive and Christian is standing at the gates.


	4. Chapter 4

4

We made it back to New York in record time, I was half expecting one of them to turn up at the hotel or airport, but thankfully they didn't. Madzie sulked the whole way home, it was only after I apologised for the umpteenth time and promised to buy her a new dress up dress to make up for losing her time with grandpa she stopped pouting. Nathan was amazing the whole time and never asked questions, but I could see him watching me every now and then. When I landed in New York and turned on my phone there were dozens of missed calls, voicemails and text messages from Kate. After listening to third voicemail. I texted her to tell her to stop calling me and go enjoy her honeymoon, I'll call her when I'm ready and thankfully so far, I've not had anything from her.

Its Thursday and we've been home for nearly a week now and I'm trying to put it all behind me and focus on Madzie. I know she could sense something was going on as she was clingy to me when I took her day-care Tuesday morning. I watch her dancing around in her new Anna dress as she watches frozen for the millionth time while dinner is cooking, when the doorbell rings.

"Nathan!" Madzie beams as she hears the doorbell, but she doesn't stop her dancing as I head for the door and can't help but laugh over my shoulder at her as she jumps off the sofa and twirls singing at the top of her voice, as I open the door and suddenly it feels like a bucket of ice has been thrown over me.

CPOV

I finally rang the bell after standing in front of the door for the last five minutes just staring at it. She's just on the side of this door. I can hear some kid's music playing and someone laughing as the door finally opens. Ana froze at the sight of me looking like I've just shot her.

"What are you doing here?" Ana says quietly

"Nathan! Come play!" A little girl calls and I see her running towards the door. She halts next to Ana's as she sees its not Nathan, the smile falling from her face. Fuck! She wants the fucker Ana brought to the wedding. Does she think he's her dad?

No, she called him Nathan I remind myself before my anger stirs too much. I can't believe she's standing in front of me. I've seen photos from what Elliot showed me and from the file Taylor gave me from his investigation. But none of them do her justice, her beautiful pale skin and blue eyes like her mother and her dark copper coloured haired flowing down to the middle of her back in waves. Ana pulls her behind her legs bringing me back to the here and now.

"What are you doing here Christian?" Ana says more firmly this time, one hand still on the door. Fuck! Don't screw this up Grey.

"I think we need to talk." I say as calmly as I can muster,

"I have nothing to say to you." Ana says sternly and goes to close the door.

"No! Please." I say panicky as I put my hand on the door stopping her from closing it all the way. "I've missed to much already." I plead looking Ana pleadingly, "Just talk."

She stares at me and I see little pair of matching blue eyes poking out from behind Ana's legs. Suddenly a smoke alarm starts to go off.

"Shit!" Ana curses making the little girl giggle. Ana gives me one quick glance before rushing off towards the kitchen with the girl in tow. I take my chance and step in and close the door. The place is small, but it looks homey, it suited Ana. I head towards what I assume is the kitchen to find the little girl sitting at the breakfast bar as Ana is busy sorting out whatever set the alarm off.

"Mommy" the little girl giggled pushing a glass jar towards Ana on the counter, it was quarter way full of coins. Ana smiles at the girl and sighs before grabbing her purse off the counter takes out a coin and puts in to the jar making the girl smile brightly.

"Wait till I tell Nathan." She giggles and my stomach twists uncomfortably at the sound of that fucker's name again and then she spots me standing in the entrance to the kitchen area. She stares at me for a few seconds before climbing down from her chair and walking up to me.

"Who are you?" she asks curiously, and I can't help but smile.

"My name is Christian Grey." I smile at her and crouch down in front of her. She really did look adorable in that outfit.

"My name is Madalynn Steele, but everyone calls me Madzie." She babbles and holds her hand out to me and I shake it not being able to contain the smile at her cute introduction, she's obviously seen Ana make quite a few introductions.

"It's nice to meet you Madzie." I smile at her.

She tilts her head slightly like she was thinking. "Now we're not strangers anymore, did you want to watch my movie with me? It's really good." she asks excitedly making me laugh

"sure, I'd love too." I smile as I stand back up and follow her into what I assume is the only living room, it has a small sofa and chair and a small tv in one half of the room and the other half has a small dining table with four chairs, the kitchen is separate from the room only by the breakfast bar and I can feel Ana watching. I turn to look at her and we both just stare at each other, and all the feelings I had when she walked out five years come flooding back. If only she knew how much she changed me when she left.

"Look! You'll miss it!" a little hand tugs at me bringing me back to the here and now. I sit on the sofa and watch her spellbound as she sings and dances away to the movie. The only other child I've been around is Ava and she's still little and learning to talk and walk. Just another reminder of how much time I've missed of Madzie's life, well no more. I can't help but smile as she giggles at the snowman on the screen singing while sitting on the beach, what the hell is this movie?

"did you want to stay for dinner?" Ana's voice breaks the spell I'm under. I turn to see her setting the table. "I've made plenty." She adds not looking at me.

"That would be nice, thank you." I say as I look at her, but she just nods and heads back into the kitchen still not looking at me.

"Do you like my new dress?" Madzie asks and I turn to see her standing right in front of me

"It's beautiful. Just like you." I smile at her and she giggles and to my delight she blushes. She is so much like her mother.

"Mommy brought it for me because I didn't get to stay at grandpas." Madzie babbles and my stomach twists as I know she's talking about last weekend.

"hmmm something smells good."

"Nathan!" Madzie beams and runs to him. I didn't hear the door; does he fucking live here or have a key? But then I see Ana walk back into the kitchen and I realise she must have let him in and I'm suddenly relieved.

"Hey munchkin, did you have a good day at school?" he smiles as he scoops her up into his arms. My stomach twists at the sight of him holding Madzie, my anger rising. Madzie smiles and nods happily with her arms around Nathans neck.

"Mommy had to use the curse jar." Madzie giggles and Nathan makes a shocked face before smiling as Madzie laughs again.

"What did you do this time?" he smiles at Ana as he puts an arm around Ana's waist as they stood in the kitchen. My anger rises more as I realise they look like a happy family.

"Mommy burnt dinner." Madzie giggled "because she was talking to my new friend."

"I didn't burn it, it just boiled over while I was answering the door." Ana clarifies smiling at Madzie

"New friend?" Nathan asks Madzie curiously and she points.


	5. Chapter 5

APOV

My stomach twists as Madzie points and Nathan looks up to see Christian standing in my living room watching us. I can see Christian jaw tighten and I know he's angry, just as I See Nathan tense next to me.

"Hello again Nathan." Christian says playing the ever cool and composed CEO.

"Christian." Nathan nods slightly at Christian with anything but welcome in his tone, "What is he doing here?" Nathan says quietly to me.

"He's here to talk." Madzie chimes happily and I see Christian smile out of the corner of my eye

"Madzie go wash up, dinner is nearly ready." I smile at her, trying to act like the tension in the room didn't just go up dramatically in the last few seconds.

"Ok mommy." She chimes happily as Nathan sets her down and she runs off to the bathroom. Nathan walks into the dining area still watching Christian who was watching Madzie run off. I follow cautiously, I've never seen Nathan so wound up.

"What are you doing here?" He says again glaring at Christian.

"I'm here to get to know MY daughter." Christian says emphasising the 'my' as he stares down Nathan.

"Why now? You've known about her for a while and never bothered before." Nathan retorts as his arm goes around my waist pulling me to his side.

"I don't see how that's any of your business. This is between me and Ana." Christian answers as he glances from Nathan to me, momentarily looking at Nathans arm around me before he glares at Nathan again, with his iron clad CEO composure but I can feel the anger rolling off him. Before anyone could say anything else Madzie comes barrelling back into the room.

"Sit next to me Christian." She says happily grabbing Christians hand and pulls him to the table officially ending whatever testrone driven match that was happening. But I'm surprised to see the anger that was clearly there only moments ago in Christian vanish the moment Madzie grabbed his hand, and I remember how I used to think I would get whiplash from Christians constant mood changes when we were together. I quickly squash any thought of us together and head back into the kitchen to finish serving. Nathan joins me in the kitchen, and I'm grateful when I see him pouring three glasses of wine. I had just finished serving everyone their dinner when there was a knock at the door. I frown and pray it's not another Grey family member, I don't think I can deal with much more tension.

"Taylor." I say surprised how nice it feels to see him.

"Miss Steele." He smiles kindly as I let him in

"Christian it's for you." I say as I walk us into the dining area

"Taylor." Christian says as he sees him standing up

"Apologies for interrupting sir, but you left this in the car." Taylor says holding out a grey gift bag.

"Oh, great thanks Taylor." Christian say as he takes the bag, "You can go home Taylor, I'll call when I'm ready." Christian adds as I glance at the table and find Nathan and Madzie watching the conversation intently.

"Yes sir" Taylor nods. "Miss Steele" Taylor nods as goodbye

"Bye Taylor." I smile as he heads out.

"who was that?" Madzie asks curiously as Christian and I sit down opposite each other.

"That was Taylor, he works for me" Christian smiles at Madzie as he places the bag under his chair.

"Is he still with Gail?" I ask before I even realise I'm doing it. Christian looks at me and smiles, and I realise it's real thing I've said to him since I asked him to stay for dinner.

"There married now." Christian says, and I can't help but smile at the thought of Taylor and Gail married. I feel Nathan watching us and I quickly take a mouthful of food.

"Auntie Kate got married." Madzie says absently as she took a mouthful of food.

"Auntie?" Christian asks looking at me shocked and intrigued.

"Kate told her to call her that." I clarify taking a sip of my wine. I had hated it when Kate had told Madzie call her it. I tried to stop Madzie from calling her it, but it stuck anyway.

"Do you know Auntie Kate?" Madzie asks Christian intrigued. Christian nods, "Then you know Ava." She beams happily.

"Yes, she's my niece." Christian smiles at Madzie. "Ava's daddy is my brother." Christian explains and to my surprise Madzie frowns at this information while eating.

"Do you have lots of brothers?" she asks frowning. God, I wish I knew what was going on her little head.

"No. I have one brother called Elliot and one sister called Mia." Christian informs watching Madzie closely clearly intrigued by her reaction too. This makes Madzie stop eating and frown harder staring at her food.

"What's wrong Madzie?" I ask worriedly

"But auntie Kate said…" Madzie mumbles quietly to no one and stomach twists.

Madzie looks at Christian "NO!" she cries and gets down and runs to her room slamming her door. Leaving us all stunned.

"Auntie Kate has a big mouth." Nathan says

"Not helping Nathan." I say annoyed as I get up to go after Madzie.

I knock on her door but don't wait before I open it. She's sitting on her bed with her knees pulled up as she cuddles her Elsa. The look of confusion on her face makes my heart break. I leave the door open and walk over to the bed and sit facing her.

"what did Auntie Kate say babygirl." I ask gently as I stroke her hair out of her face. She looks at me sadly.

"She said Ava's daddy and…and my daddy are brothers and that makes us family." Madzie gushes and even though I already knew it was coming my stomach still twists and I feel like someone's chucked another bucket of ice over me.

"why didn't you tell me she said that?"

"because I was happy that Ava was my family." Madzie says whimpers

"And that's great baby, I know you love Ava." I smile, "but why didn't you tell me she said that about your daddy?" I coax, and she pulls her knees closer to her and shrugs not looking at me.

"talk to me Madalynn." I use her full name making her look at me.

"Billy says…" I frown at the sound of a boy from her day care's name, especially billy, he has been meaning to Madzie before. "…he says I don't know my daddy because my daddy didn't want me." she says sadly with tears finally escaping her eyes.

"aww baby." I gush and pull her into my arms hugging her tightly.

"Billy's wrong."

We both look up to see Christian and Nathan both standing near the door, but it had been Christian who spoke. He walks cautiously towards us as Madzie looks at him.

"You're the reason I'm here Madzie." He says as he crouches in front of us looking straight at Madzie's tear streaked face. "I didn't know about you for a long time." He gives me a pointed look. "but as soon as I knew, I wanted you, and that's never going to change."

"you should have told me Madzie." I say wiping her tears away, "Mommy would have told you it wasn't true. Things with mommy and Christian are complicated, but it was never because of anything you did." I explain not bringing myself to call Christian daddy as I kiss her head while Christian looks at me.

"That's about to change princess. Because I'm not going anywhere." Christian declares looking at Madzie. "I'm here if you'll have me." he smiles at her, but he looks worried. My stomach twists when he says he's not going anywhere, that's not true, he lives in Seattle and we live in New York. He can't expect us to up and move, and he can't move because of his company.

"Mommy and Christian need to talk about this." I say giving Christian a pointed look and he frowns at me. "Why don't we go finish dinner before it gets to cold." I suggest to Madzie, she looks at Christian then at me before finally nodding.

"I actually brought you something Madzie." Christian smiles at her as we head back towards the table, Madzie close to my side. "I was going to give you it after dinner, but if its ok with mommy you can have it now." He adds as he picks up the gift bag, Madzie looks at me and I nod smiling at her. I feel Nathans arm around my waist as Madzie walks over to take the bag from Christian. I smile at him and he kisses me tenderly as he pulls me closer.

"I was told you don't have this one." Christian's voice brings us back to the here and now and I turn to see him watching us as Madzie opens the bag and my stomach twists as his eyes meet mine. I couldn't put my finger on what I was seeing in them, but I suddenly feel uncomfortable.

"Sven!" Madzie gasps happily as she pulls out the reindeer teddy and hugs it. "Thank you Chr…" she stops herself saying his name and looks uncomfortable.

"your welcome princess." Christian smiles ignoring her unease with his name and she smiles shyly at him. The rest of dinner was eaten in awkward silence and I hardly ate anything due to my stomach being in knots. Nathan helped me clear the table.

"I think I'm going to go." Nathan suddenly says as he leans against the counter watching Christian and Madzie as I scrape the plates clean

"What? Why?" I say shocked, I stop what I was doing and look at him. Nathan smiles, he takes the plate out of my hands and places it on the side before pulling me to him,

"You guys need to talk, and he won't while I'm here. Besides I need to pack for my trip tomorrow." He sighs as I place my hands on his chest. I sigh as I close my eyes and rest my forehead against his. I had forgotten he had a business trip tomorrow, I'm not going to see him until Monday now. "I'm going to miss you." He sighs, "I hate leaving when I know he's going to be around, especially since I know he's not just here for Madzie."

I lift my head and look at him frowning at his words as his hands stroke my waist.

"he wants you Ana, you can tell by how he looks at you." He explains smiling at my clearly confused expression.

"No." I shake my head, that's crazy. I'm not what he needs. "I'm not his type. Trust me." Nathan doesn't look convinced as he glances over his shoulder at Christian.

"I'm with you Nathan." I say as I stroke the side of his face and he leans in and kisses me slowly as my hands snake around his neck, he deepens the kiss as his hands roam up under my top. My fingers in his hair as he suddenly lifts me up onto the counter so he's standing in-between my legs making me smile, he takes the opportunity to kiss down my neck. I open my eyes and blush as I see Christian watching us, anger clearly on his face.

"Nathan he's watching." I gasp against his butterfly kisses

"good." Nathan smiles against me skin,

"Nathan." I push him gently and he stops kissing my neck to look at me, "Now maybe he'll realise your mine." He smiles and kisses me on the lips as his hands stroke up my thighs.

"And here I thought that was my goodbye kiss, not a marking your territory." I say as I roll my eyes at him and he laughs. He gives me a quick kiss on the lips and helps me down.

"Just think yourself lucky Madzie's awake otherwise he'd get a real show." Nathan grins devilishly as he raises his eyebrows up and down suggestively, making me laugh and playfully hit him and he laughs in return as he we head back into the living area where Madzie is sat quietly on the sofa next to Christian hugging Sven watching the movie with her thumb in her mouth, a clear indicator she's tired.

"I'm going munchkin, I'll see you in a couple of days." Nathan calls to her and she gets up and runs to him, still carrying her teddy. he scoops her up and she hugs him and kisses him on the cheek. I can clearly see Christian doesn't like this interaction between his daughter and Nathan and I can't help but roll my eyes.

"Be good for mommy." Nathan smiles at her as he put her down.

"I will. Bye Nathan." Madzie waves as she walks back to the sofa.

"Christian." Nathan says curtly and Christian just nods

"call me if you need anything." Nathan smiles turning back to me.

"I will." I smile "call when you get there so I know you arrived safely."

"promise." Nathan smiles and gives me a quick affectionate kiss on the lips before heading out, I sigh as I watch him go. I turn to see Christian watching me intently, but I ignore him.

"Come on Madzie let's get ready for bed." I say as I turn the tv off. "go brush your teeth." Madzie slides off the sofa and walks sleepily to the bathroom.

"If you want to talk you'll have to wait until she's in bed." I state, after grabbing Madzie's nightdress from her room. I'm secretly hoping he'll change his mind and leave, but I know he won't

"That's fine. I can wait." Christian says looking at me determinedly. I just nod and head off to get Madzie ready for bed.

"Good night." Madzie waves quietly to Christian as we head to her room.

"Good night princess." Christian smiles lovingly at her.


	6. Chapter 6

6

CPOV

I watch as Ana walks Madzie into her room leaving the door ajar and before long I can hear Ana reading a story and it takes all my willpower not to go in there and lay with them. I run my hand through my hair as the image of Nathan hugging Madzie and Ana in the kitchen flashes through my head. I bet that fucker has laid in there with them. What if I'm too late? What if I've lost them to that fucker? Another image of Nathan all over Ana in the kitchen. Fuck! I can't sit still any longer I pace the living area. For fucksake Grey focus, you're here for Madzie.

And your anger has nothing to do with Ana fucking another guy? My subconscious jabs.

The image of the three of them playing happy families flashed into my head again. Fuck I waited too long, I've lost them. When Elliot first told me about Madzie, I didn't believe it, I thought she must be some other guys kid, I refused to acknowledge it until my dad finally got me to see the timeline fits perfectly. After that I was furious with Ana for keeping her from me, I was ready to fly over here a few times and explode at Ana and then take Madzie, but dad again intervened, reminding me not only do I have no rights to Madzie and I would get done for kidnapping, I would also probably ruin any chance of her trusting me. so, we came up with a plan to confront Ana at Elliot's wedding as by now it was only a month or so away. Then Elliot had to have one to many drinks and jump the gun, chasing Ana away before I even got to talk to her. Seeing her there looking stunning in that dress knocked me for six, I was only focused on getting Madzie, but then seeing her walking down the aisle with me and then her interacting with Ava, all those feelings from when she left that I thought had long gone hit me like a brick wall. Then Seeing her with that Fucker draped all over her at the wedding, made me realise this started out just a mission for Madzie and now? But now I want my family back.

I look around the room at all the pictures of Madzie growing up, she's so beautiful with that cheeky grin of hers, my heart aches by the time I get to one of Ana and Madzie ice skating. Ana was holding both of Madzie's hands and laughing happily at her as Madzie smiled wobbling looking at the ice, she looked so little. It was the perfect picture, neither knew the photo was being taken, they were just happy in their own little bubble.

"That was taken two Christmases ago." Ana's voice brings me back to the here and now, surprising me that she was standing right next to me. "Madzie was about two and a half, she saw the ice rink and wanted to be like Elsa." Ana smiles happily looking at the photo remembering the day. "Mom and Bob had come up for Christmas, so we took her to Rockingham centre, she thought it was hilarious that Bob kept falling, but it never put her off, she was so determined to skate." Ana hands me a glass of wine and goes and curls herself onto the sofa. "We go every year now. I'm thinking of getting her lessons as she's loves whenever we go." She adds absently. I want to go over and sit next to her and hold her close, but I don't think that'll be acceptable, so I settle in the chair.

"I'll get her them." I say making a mental note to book them as soon as I get back to my place.

"I don't need you to buy her things Christian." Ana says looking annoyed. "We've managed perfectly fine." And I'm suddenly remembered how hard it was to buy her things without her arguing about it.

"she's my daughter Ana, I'm going to buy her things." I clarify, she's not going to want for anything, I'll give her the world. I don't say this though as I'm already getting an annoyed look from Ana, but I get the feeling she can still see straight through me.

"What do you want Christian." Ana sighs.

I want my daughter, I want that little girl sleeping in that room to call me daddy, I want her to hug and kiss me like she did that fucker. I want to see her face light up when she sees me. I don't want to miss another minute of her life. not only that I want you. I want to be the one kissing your beautiful body, I want to be the one you think of as you fall asleep, the one you make love to, I want us. I want our family. I sigh as I feel my dick twitch at the thought of her in my bed.

"I told you, I want to see my daughter." I say as I discreetly adjust my position myself.

"and how are you supposed to do that. You live in Seattle."

"I plan on coming to New York every weekend to see her to start with." I start. Stick to the plan Grey, get Madzie then we can work getting Ana back. "However, I'll need a paternity test." Ana's eyebrows raise, and I put my hand up to stop whatever she was about to say. "It's not like that, I know she's mine, I need it, so I can get my parental rights, so when she comes to mine I…"

"absolutely not." Ana snaps stopping me from finishing what I was going to say.

"She's my daughter, I have a right t…"

"But you don't have the rights." Ana interrupts me again and I can feel my anger stir. "You have no right to Madzie until I give you permission for a paternity test, because here in New York, you need the mothers consent to preform one." Shit! She's not going to make this easy. Why? "and I'm not going to let you get your rights just, so you can take her back to Seattle."

"I'm not going to take her from you Ana." Well not if you let me see her, otherwise game on. "I only meant she can come and stay at mine for a few days here and there instead of me coming here." I try and explain, "You're welcome to come with her." God please come with her.

"She's not going to your house Christian." I can't help but frown at her words. What's wrong with my place? I said she could come, so it's not like she'll be in a different state as her. "You can come and see her here at the weekends if you want, though I don't know how you plan to do that when your normally with your subs then…" fuck! That's what this is about.

"It's not like that." I retort before she can finish what she's saying

"I don't care what you do in your personal life Christian, but my daughter will not be going to a house that has different women coming and going constantly and a risk she'd walk into that room." Ana says determinedly. And we are here, the reason she left

"and what about you and that fucker. Do I get to say who my daughter is around?" I argue feeling my anger rising. Just tell her Grey.

"That's different, we've been together for months now and my relationship with Nathan doesn't evolve around one of us getting off at the other one being whipped." She retorts, and it might as well of been a punch in the face.

"Ana…" I move closer to her in my chair, how do I start? how do I apologies for all the pain I've caused her? How do I tell her everything that happened after she left me? "It's not like that anymore…" I sigh as I run a hand through my hair trying to find the right words.

"so, I saw, now you're taking them to events." She counters downing the last of her wine and I frown trying to understand what she's talking about. Events? The wedding? Stacey! She thinks Stacey is a sub. I look at her, was she jealous of me being there with someone? I know I was when I saw her with that fucker.

"Stacey's wasn't a sub Ana," I say quietly watching her trying to figure out what she's thinking. "And I'm not seeing her anymore." I add though not sure why I had to tell her that, but it was true, after seeing Ana again I realised what Stacey and had was nothing in comparison, so I ended it.

"Mommy."

We both turn to see a sleepy Madzie standing in her doorway rubbing her eyes, I can't help but smile as I notice she is still hugging the teddy I got her.

"Back to bed princess." Ana soothes as she stands up, "I'll be in, in a minute I'm just saying goodbye to Christian." She says as she ushers Madzie back in her room. Wait! What? I stand and follow her.

"Ana please." I plead quietly, she needs to know everything.

"Look I have work I need to finish before I go to work tomorrow." She says as she heads for the front door. Fuck she's kicking me out. No! there's so much more I need to say. "I'll contact you about you seeing Madzie." She adds as she holds the front door open for me.

"Ana please we still need to talk about this." I plead as I walk up to her, my hand instinctly goes for her waist.

"Goodbye Christian." She says sternly as she moves away from my touch letting my hand fall before it even touches her. I look at her and it's like shutters have come down behind her eyes, there was nothing. I sigh and pull my card out of pocket that has my number and email address on.

"Please call me. I want this to work." And I hope she knows I don't just mean with Madzie. She takes the card and nods not saying anything. I glance at her for a few moments longer before finally heading out the door. She shuts it as soon as I'm across the threshold. I sigh and lean back against it. Fuck!

APOV

I finally let out the breath I've didn't realise I had been holding as I close the door behind him and lean back against the door as I stare at his card in my hand. What the hell am I going to do?

"Mommy!" Madzie calling me brings me back from my wayward thoughts. I shove the card in my pocket and head to Madzie's room.

* * *

 **So this is how far I have gotten.**

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 **should I continue?**

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 **Thanks for reading x**


	7. Chapter 7

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* * *

APOV

Work today had been a nightmare, I couldn't seem to be able to focus on anything, my mind kept going back to last night. How has my life gotten so messed up so fast? I could kill Kate right about now, for telling Madzie about her dad and not telling me she had. She was up most of the night worrying and crying about it. she seemed fine when I put her to bed but she woke up worrying if Christian would like her and what she should call him and then suddenly that opened the flood gates for every little fear she had about Christian and his family. She got so wound up and ended up crying herself to sleep in my arms. I sigh as I climb the step to her day-care praying she's had a better day

"Ana!"

I turn to see Christian getting out of a car. What the hell is he doing here? How did he even know where she went day-care? I roll my eyes at my own question, duh! This is Christian Grey stalker 101 remember.

"What are you doing here Christian?" I sigh as I step down to meet him

"I hadn't heard from you." Christian says as he stops rather close to me. "I was hoping I could take you both out for dinner," Christian smiled

"I don't know if today is a good idea, Madzie had a bit of a bad night." I say awkwardly.

"Is she ok?" Christian suddenly looking worried.

"She's fine, she got quite upset last night and didn't sleep well and…" how do I tell him she might not want to see him?

"and what?" Christian urged staring at me like he was reading my mind, making me very uncomfortable. "what is it Ana?"

"I'm not sure she wants to see you." I sigh, and I saw the hurt flash across his face and stab me right in the heart. "she's scared." I try and explain, "she's spent god knows how many months thinking she wasn't wanted." And I suddenly hate Kate and that little brat Billy for even giving Madzie those thoughts.

"I'd like to give Kate and that kid Billy a piece of my mind." Christian says angrily as his looks up at the doors of the day-care and I can't help but smile that his thoughts mirrored mine. But I quickly wipe it off my face before Christian sees, he's still staring at the doors worriedly and I can practically see the cogs working as he thinks of what do next.

"can I just come in and see her." Christian asks, and he suddenly sounds unsure, "I need her to know, I'm here to stay."

He looks at me pleading at me and my stomach twists. "OK." I sigh and Christian suddenly looks relieved. I go to take a step up but suddenly turn to him "But, if she gets to upset I want you to go." I say pointing at him. "I won't force this on her, just because you want to see her, doesn't mean she wants it! and I'm sorry Christian but she comes first, no matter what." I say determinedly, Christian looks at me for a moment, as if trying to judge how much I meant what I said.

"Ok." Christian sighs, and I turn and start to walk up the stairs, "But if I do end up going today, I'm not giving up on her." Christian says coming up next to me and opens the door for me. I sigh and roll my eyes at him making him smile.

"May I help you sir?" I receptionist smiles at Christian.

"He's with me Tracey." I smile at her and she looks surprised glancing from me to Christian before buzzing us through. Christian looks around inspecting the place as we head to Madzie's classroom. I walk in with Christian close behind me and spot Madzie playing with another little girl with the baby dolls.

"Miss Steele." The teacher smiles at me walking up to us, glancing at Christian.

"Hi, how's she's been today?" I smile not bothering to introduce Christian, as truthfully, I didn't know how.

"She's been very tired and emotional today, she had an hour nap and was a bit better this afternoon." She says kindly, I glance at Christian and he's watching Madzie, who still hasn't realised we are here.

"Madalynn mommy's here." The teacher calls glancing again at Christian, obviously wondering who he was. Christian didn't notice he was more interested on Madzie's reaction to him being there. She looked up smiling then saw Christian and stopped. She walked cautiously up to us.

"Hey Princess did you have a good day?" I smile as I stroke a loose piece of hair behind her ear. She nods as I crouch down in front of her, but she wasn't looking at me, she was looking at Christian, who was smiling at her, but I could tell he was worried by her reaction. Apparently so was the teacher.

"I'm sorry, you are?" she bravely asks Christian.

"I'm Christian Grey. Madalynn's father." He says in his cool CEO persona, looking at the teacher then back at Madzie. The teacher clearly looked surprised and I know it's because there are no details on Madzie's father on her day-care paperwork, and she's been coming to this day-care since she was 6 months old.

"Christian wants to take us out to dinner." I say trying to get Madzie's attention. "It's up to baby girl. We can go with Christian or we can go home just you and me…Talk to me Madzie, you're never this quiet." My last words finally made her look at me and I smile at her, "What do you want to do baby." I smile at her.

"will you be there if I go dinner?" she says quietly to me, but I know Christian can hear.

"Of course, baby, I'm not going anywhere." I smile lovingly at her, "Is that what you want to do?" I ask, and I feel Christian tense next to me as we wait for her answer. She glances at Christian then nods at me. my brave girl, I wish I had her courage.

"Ok well let's get your coat and bag." I smile as I stand up and take her hand.

Christian looks relieved when we are finally sitting in the back of his car, Madzie in-between us.

"So where did you want to go?" Christian asks me, shocking me, he normally doesn't like to do things he can't control. "You know New York better than I do." He smirks at my clearly shocked expression. "We can go anywhere you want."

"Anywhere?" Madzie asks this time shocking Christian that she spoke, but I couldn't help but smile as I knew exactly where she was going to pick. She looks at me with a huge grin on her face. "Stardust." She says excitedly, and I couldn't help but laugh as I imagined Christian in that restaurant.

"I don't think that's really Christian style babygirl." I smile at her.

"If she wants to go we can go." Christian says looking confused.

"It's not a normal restaurant." I smirk at him

"It's fine." And he nods to Taylor who had been waiting for directions.

"Ok." I laugh, "but you might want to lose the tie." I smirk but then a memory of him tying me to my bed in the apartment I shared with Kate comes flashing into my mind and I blush. Christian looks at me curiously with a smile as if he knew exactly where my mind went, as he takes off his tie and undoes the top button. Madzie practically bounces in her seat with excitement and it's the happiest I've seen her since everything that's happened.

It doesn't take long before we are pulling up outside the restaurant, the queue was growing. Christian looks at the restaurant intrigued,

"The queue doesn't look too bad." I say as I help Madzie out of the car and Christian frowns at me.

"There won't be any waiting in a queue." Christian says, "come on." He smiles and goes to put his hand on my back then quickly changes his mind and walks ahead of us. we follow him to where Taylor is standing with the doorman and to my surprise he opens the door and lets us straight in, I look guiltily at the people queuing who clearly don't look impressed. Christian lets me and Madzie walk in first and I couldn't help but laugh at the look on Christian face as he walks in and sees the wait staff singing on the counter between tables as we get seated right in the middle. Christian slides into one side of our booth table and Madzie sits next to me looking around like it was Christmas. The singer finishes and Madzie cheers happily bouncing in her sit making Christian laugh.

"do you come here often?" Christian asks as he grabs a menu.

"We've been a couple of times." I smile at him, "Last time was her birthday." I watch Madzie as she dances in her seat as they start singing another song. "Madzie loves it and askes to come every time we go out for dinner." I laugh and look back to find Christian watching me, I blush and busy myself looking at the menu.

"What did you want to eat Madzie?" Christian asks smiling at her

"Mac n' cheese please." She says smiling at him shyly, like she just remembered he was here with us.

"that's one of my favourite too." Christian smiles brightly at her making her smile wider.

"mommy makes the best mac n' cheese." Madzie declares

"I bet she does." Christian smiles glancing at me.

"hey, welcome to stardust, what can I get you?" a red-haired woman smiled at us pulling her order pad out of her apron.

"Can they sing frozen?" Madzie jumps up and down in her seat

"she's asking what food we want princess not a song request." I laugh at her and she pouts making Christian laugh.

"We'll have one kids mac n' cheese, and I'll have the steak, medium rare." He looks at me.

"I'll have the salmon please." I smile, the lady takes our order of drinks and leans down to Madzie

"I'll see if I can get them to sing it for you." She winks at Madzie making her giggle.

Christian asks Madzie about her day as our drinks order arrives and I'm happy to see that she starts babbling away, the atmosphere in here has really lighten her up. I hope she stays like this and doesn't go back to the quiet and scared little girl she was this morning. Madzie smiles at something Christian says making him smile and I can't help but notice that they have the same smile. The atmosphere in here is so contagious that we all just chatted happily together, laughing and joking, in our own little bubble and by the time dessert had arrived Madzie was sitting next to Christian trying to feed him some of her ice cream that was cover in so many sprinkles you couldn't see the ice cream.

"See its yummy." Madzie giggled as Christian ate the mouthful of ice cream and as the song started. Madzie's eyes went wide and she nearly dropped her spoon as she heard her favourite song, let it go. She stood on her chair and sang the whole song doing the actions and even the waitress singing it came over to sing with her making Madzie blush and giggle. I record it on my phone and got Christian's reaction to her singing as well. My heart swelled as I saw how much love was in his eyes as he watched her dance and sing proudly, and then my stomach twists as I realise how much he's missed because of me. because I was scared. Scared of how he got off on inflicting pain on women, scared that he didn't even see how wrong his relationship with the fucking Mrs Robinson was; scared of how he'd react to a child when he would fight anything more in the relationship other than what he wanted. I mean he wouldn't even let me touch him, what was he going to do when the baby cried and need holding? Where is that Christian? Because he's not sitting opposite me, this Christian seems different, I can't point my finger on why or how though, maybe it's just seeing him in this atmosphere, so far from his ivory tower.


	8. Chapter 8

Just as we were getting in the car my phone rings and I can't help but smile as I see Nathan's name on the screen.

"Hey." I smile as Christian gets in the other side.

 **"hey beautiful how's your day been?"** I look out the window as I feel Christian watching me.

"Busy, we're just on the way home now. How about you?"

 **"boring without you. I miss you."**

"I miss you too."

"Who is it mommy?" I turn to see both Madzie and Christian looking at me.

"It's Nathan sweetie." I smile at her avoiding Christian gaze.

"I want to talk to him." she whines trying to get my phone.

"Hang on a sec." I say to Madzie. "Nathan Madzie wants to talk to you."

 **"Sure, put her on."** I pass the phone to Madzie placing it on loud speaker.

"Hello Nathan." Madzie smiles at the phone

 **"Hey munchkin, h…"**

"Guess what!" she grins interrupting him.

 **"What?"** Nathan laughs at her eagerness.

"Mommy and daddy took me Stardust." Christian and I look at each other shocked as she calls Christian daddy for the first time, "and they sang frozen and I sang and danced with the lady singing."

 **"Wow! I bet that was lots of fun."** Nathan said after a moments silence, his voice sounded different, my stomach twists at the sound of it.

"It was so much fun. And daddy said we can go again another day." Christian stroked Madzie's hair as she babbled as she said it again. "Maybe you can come next time." Christian stopped stroking for a moment and I saw his jaw tighten

 **"We'll see munchkin."** Nathan said sounding strained, " **Can I talk to mommy now munchkin?** "

"Ok, bye Nathan,"

 **"Bye munchkin."** And with that Madzie passes me the phone and I quickly take it off loudspeaker as I look out the window.

"Hey"

 **"Sounds like you've had an eventful evening."** He sounds hurt.

"It just kind of happened." What can I say with Christian and Madzie listening in. "We're in the car now."

 **"He's with you?"**

"yes."

" **Has he tried anything?** "

"No, it was for Madzie." And I hear him sigh,

" **I hate being so far away.** "

"I know me too. Look can I call you when I get Madzie in bed."

" **Of course, beautiful. I love you** " I smile at his words, it's only been a month or so since he started saying it and it still makes me smile every time I hear it.

"love you too, Bye."

 **CPOV**

Those three words coming out her mouth felt like a knife being twisted into my heart. Fuck! I really have lost her. I look over at her through the darkness in the car but she's gazing out the window as Madzie lays against her with her thumb in her mouth.

What did you expect Grey, it's been five years, did you think no one else would notice how amazing she is? You're lucky she's not married already. The thought makes me do a panicky look at her hands, thank god, no engagement ring. We sat in silence the short way back to their apartment, my mind trying to wrap itself around everything that happened today, it had felt incredible when Madzie had called me daddy, officially rubbing in that fucker's face that she's mine not his. He may have gotten to Ana but I'm sure as hell am not letting him get my daughter as well. Madzie was fast asleep by the time we pulled up outside their apartment building. Ana undid her seatbelt and went to pick up Madzie

"I can take her." I offer not ready to leave them yet.

"No, it's fine, thank you for tonight Christian, Madzie had a lot of fun." Ana smiles as she gets out the car carrying Madzie asleep against her chest, her head resting on Ana's shoulder.

"It was my pleasure Ana." I smile back as I scramble out the car after her.

"You don't have to walk us up. We'll be fine." Ana says as I go to follow her up the path to the door.

"what are your plans for tomorrow?" I ask trying to mask the hurt I feel for not being able to go with them.

"Madzie has a ballet class in the afternoon and a birthday party in the morning." she says as she turns to talk to me stroking her hand gently up and down Madzie's back.

"I'll pick you up." I say matter-of-factly.

"You don't have to do that." Ana frowns stopping her hand in the middle of Madzie's back. "I'm sure you don't want to go to some kid's party."

"Ana, I couldn't care less what we did," I step closer to her, "We could spend the day sitting in your apartment for all I care. I only have two days before I have to head home..." I place my hand purposely on top of hers on Madzie's back officially holding it in place, instantly feeling the spark, I always felt when I touched Ana shoot straight through me, lighting me up from the inside. "…and I want to spend as much time as I can with her." I lean forward and kiss Madzie on the head, all the while keeping my eyes on Ana, and I'm pleased to see her swallow and blush as I kiss Madzie. I still affect her, there's still hope.

"fine," she finally sighs "be here for 9:30."

I smile brightly at her and nod before I reluctantly remove my hand, "Sweet dreams Anastasia."

"Goodnight Christian." She says looking flustered. I watch her go in the building before I get back in the car. I had just stepped into the elevator at my apartment building when my phone pinged

 **Thank you again for tonight, Madzie had a fantastic time. I thought you might like these. – A**

I couldn't help but smile as I see the message from her, but my breath caught as I saw the attachments. There was a picture of Madzie giggling as she shoved ice cream in my mouth and I can't help but laugh making Taylor side glance at me. the next attachment was a video. I waited until I was in my apartment before pressing play. It was a video of Madzie singing at the restaurant. My heart swelled as I watched it. my beautiful girl.

Thank you. I really enjoyed spending time with you both – C

I then sent her the picture I had taken of Ana and Madzie. Ana was smiling lovingly at Madzie who was giggling at something I had said. I sent it to her with one word.

Beautiful – C

Once I never heard anything back by the time I grabbed a drink, I sent the video to my mom with the message: Your talented granddaughter. I hadn't told them I was coming to New York, they just thought I was away on business, and technicually I was until Thursday, but instead of heading home I changed the flight plan to New York, not being able to wait any longer. It was a matter of minutes before my phone started ringing, with my mom's name flashing on the screen. That was fast, I thought she'd be working.

"Mother." I smile into the phone.

"Oh my god Christian she's beautiful. I'm crying." Mom gushes and I can imagine her sitting there wiping her eyes. "Why didn't you tell us you were going?"

"It wasn't planned, I finished my business trip early and instead of going home I decided to come here to try and talk to Ana."

"And?"

"We have a long way to go, but she's agreed to let me see Madzie every weekend here." I say, and I'm reminded that I still need to tell Ana everything, then just maybe she'll trust me more with Madzie.

"Oh, that's wonderful son, and how is Madalynn taking it?"

"It was rough for her at first." And the memory of Madzie crying in Ana's arms flashes into my head making my heart ache, "But tonight went really well." And I can't help but smile as I remember her calling me daddy. I hope she continues to call me it and it wasn't just because she was caught up in all the excitement.

"That's wonderful to hear. When are you going to see her again?"

"Tomorrow, she has a busy day, but Ana's agreed to let me come along."

"So, you and Ana are getting along?"

"we're getting there." I say, truthfully, I haven't got a clue. At the restaurant it was perfect, like the last five years never happened between us, but then in the car she said those words to that fucker Nathan.

"I can't wait to meet her, oh wait till I show Carrick." Grace gushes again bringing me back from my wayward thoughts.

"I know mom me too, but it's going to be a while before she comes to Seattle." I say and down the last of my drink as I look around my apartment. "I'm going to go mom, I've got some work I need to do."

"of course, hunni. I'll speak to you soon."

* * *

 **Like i said before, Thank you so much for your support,**

 **please keep reviewing and letting me know your thoughts and ideas x**


	9. Chapter 9

APOV

It was dead on 9:30 when Christian arrived wearing low cut jeans and a black t-shirt that hugged all his muscles, his hair wet from the shower. My stomach fluttered at the sight of him, making me feel uncomfortable. Madzie skips along happily in-between us as we walk the short distance to the party. The party was being held at a soft play area and kids were already running around playing and having fun when we got there, even though we were on time for the party. I quickly take Madzie's shoes off and hand her the present.

"Go wish Oliver a happy birthday." I smile and point to where he was standing talking to another child. Madzie and runs off with the present just as I catch sight of his mom.

"I'll be right back." I smile at Christian who was busy watching Madzie

"Sure." He smiles sweetly at me, but I can tell he is so out of his comfort zone.

"Ana!" she smiles as she sees me pulling me into a hug.

"Hey Becca," I smile at her, I met Becca at work when we were both pregnant, and we quickly became good friends, our kids even go to the same day-care, she's on maternity leave for her second child at the minute, who is only a week old. "You're crazy doing all this after just having a baby." I laugh as I look at the cute little boy asleep in his car seat.

"Where's Madzie?" She smiles

"Oh, she ran off to give Oliver his present." I smile looking around to where I last saw her.

"Hey you two."

I turn to see two other moms from day-care walk up to us. Sarah and Emma.

"Hey." I smile at them as the baby whined.

"aww. Can I?" I ask Becca and she laughed and nodded and I scooped him up into my arms.

"He's beautiful." I smile at her as I cooed over baby Carson.

"OMG who's the hottie?" Emma gushes looking at him. I followed her gaze, but I already had a feeling I knew. He was watching us as he was talking on the phone and smiled when I looked at him. I smiled and turned back

"Err…that would be Madzie's father." I say

"Seriously?" Becca says shocked, "When did this happen?"

Sarah and Emma kept glancing over at him as they listened.

"He's been here since Thursday." I sigh as I look at Carson who was sleeping again in my arms.

"how's Nathan taking it?" Becca asks as she glances at Christian

"Hard to say, it was like a huge testosterone driven battle them when Christian first turned up, but Nathan's been away on business and is not back until Monday." I say rolling my eyes remembering my conversation with Nathan last night, he is not liking Christian spending so much time with me, even though I told him he's here for Madzie, but he doesn't believe me.

"I can see that. He hasn't taken his eyes off you." Becca smiles at me making me blush.

"So, wait you had him and Nathan? No fair saves some of the hot guys for us." Sarah smiled making us all laugh especially as Sarah was happily married. I glance over and see he was still watching.

"Is he single?" Emma asked biting her lip hungrily

"down girl." Becca laughed making me laugh.

"He looks familiar." Sarah suddenly says, as Emma's eyes went wide, and I felt a hand on my lower back.

"Ladies." He smiled that breath-taking smile.

"Everyone this is Christian." I smile as I try to ignore his hand on my back. I turn so his hand falls, "Christian this is Emma, Sarah and Becca." I introduce, Emma smiles flirtingly at him. Christian either didn't notice or didn't care.

"It's lovely to meet you all." He smiled politely, "Ana can I borrow you for a second." He asks looking at me.

"err, sure. There you go handsome, go to momma." I smile at Carson as I hand him back to Becca careful not to wake him.

"What's up?" I ask after I let Christian steer me far enough away.

"So, my…"

"Daddy!" Madzie calls cutting off whatever Christian was saying, as she comes running up to us making Christian smile at the word.

"Hey Princess." Christian smiles at her.

"This is Oliver, he's my best friend." Madzie smiles looking at the little blonde boy who had come running up after her.

"nice to meet you Oliver. Happy Birthday." Christian smiles

"Thank you." Oliver smiles cheekily,

"come play with us daddy." Madzie chimes grabbing Christian's hand and pulling him. Christian looks at me unsure and I just smirk as Madzie pulls him off to play. A few minutes later though and Christian was playfully chasing Madzie and Oliver and even few other kids who joined in pretending to be the tickle monster. Madzie squealed with delight as Christian caught her, making Christian laugh. After a little while Christian got a reprieve as the kids got summoned to the tables for food.

"who knew Christian Grey would be the highlight of a kid's party." I smile at him as I hand him a bottle of water making Christian laugh before taking a drink.

"It's strange seeing you like this." I say without realising it.

"strange? Is that a good or bad thing?" Christian asks watching me closely.

"Good. it suits you…it's just different from how you normally were." I explain and Christian steps closer.

"that's because I'm different." He breathes standing only inches from me looking at me, making me blush and my stomach flutter. I step back and quickly go and help with serving the food. What the hell is going on? Why am I letting Christian get to me like this, I'm with Nathan, and besides I'm not what Christian needs remember. I feel Christian watching me, but I keep myself busy helping for the rest of the party and before long we were heading back to the apartment so Madzie can have a quick change before heading to ballet.

"OK bye." Christian hangs up as Madzie and I walk out of the apartment building to where he had been waiting as he had to make a call. We walk to ballet with Madzie babbling happily away about random things. As soon as we walk into Madzie's class the moms all stared at Christian as I quickly changed Madzie's shoes into her ballet shoes and took off her coat. Christian didn't notice, typical.

"Hey Princess." Christian calls as Madzie was about to run off, she turns to him and he takes a quick photo and then she poses for the next one making Christian laugh, before she runs off to start her lesson. Christian sat down in the chair next to me still oblivious of the glances he was getting especially since he was the only guy in the room.

"So, I tried to tell you at the party but Madzie pulled me away." Christian starts watching Madzie before looking at me. "My parents and Mia flew in this morning. they want to meet Madzie."

"Oh." I say shocked looking from Christian to Madzie

"Mom wants to cook a big family dinner at my apartment tonight…"

"You have an apartment? I thought you were staying in a hotel." I babble, making Christian smile.

"I have a lot of places." He smiles making roll my eyes and look back to Madzie.

"She wants you both to come." Christian continues after I don't say anything. "but if you want to go or not is up to you, either way we need to talk tonight, when Madzie's asleep. I need to tell you everything before I have to go home."

I'm silent for a little while just watching Madzie, she keeps looking to see if Christians watching and smiling when she sees he is, but I can also feel he keeps glancing at me.

"Ok, we can talk." I sigh finally, "But as for dinner that's up to Madzie." I add looking at Christian, who's smiling at me.

* * *

 **Thank you again for all the amazing reviews**

 **please keep them coming.**


	10. Chapter 10

**APOV**

Madzie had been unsure about the idea of meeting Christian family, until he mentioned Ava would be there, because Mia has been watching her while Kate and Elliot are on their honeymoon.

So here I am inwardly panicking as I get ready for the dinner. I know they all probably hate me, especially after I ran out of the wedding. I wouldn't blame them. I'm still surprised Christian hasn't yelled at me yet.

"all done princess." I smile as I finish curling her hair like mine like she had asked. She'd chosen her favourite dress which had a sparkly black top and a big pink ribbon bow at the waist and a flowing pink skirt. Christian had told her she didn't need to dress up, but she was insistent, so Christian's been sitting patiently in the living room while Madzie and I dressed in my room. "Why don't you go show daddy, while I grab my purse." I smile at her.

"Ok mommy." Madzie smiles and heads out of the room. I grab my purse, check myself in the mirror one last time and take a few steadying breaths. Here it goes. You can do this. For Madzie.

 **CPOV**

"Daddy I'm ready." Madzie calls as she runs towards where I'm sitting on the sofa checking emails, trying to keep my mind from wandering to later when Ana and I talk.

"You look beautiful princess." I smile as I see her, and Madzie giggles and blushes, she looks so much like Ana with her hair flowing down her back in curls. I hope she never wants to cut that beautiful hair. I saw movement out the corner of my eye as I watched Madzie twirl in her dress.

Fuck! My dick went instantly hard at the sight of Ana in her burgundy dress that hugged her body perfectly, showing off all her stunning curves and long legs. She had her hair down just like Madzie.

"You look stunning." I breathe feeling very uncomfortable with my dick pressing against the hard fabric of my jeans. Ana smiles blushing and I'm grateful she walks ahead to the door with Madzie giving my time to adjust myself, though seeing Ana from behind in this dress still turned me on. Get a grip Grey! You're going to dinner with your fucking family. I sigh and tried to focus on dinner.

I walk Ana and Madzie into my apartment, the smell of delicious food hitting us as we walk in. I can see Madzie looking around shyly but as soon as we get to the lounge area and she sees movement she hides behind Ana's legs. I glance at Ana and she looks just as nervous, I just want to wrap them both in my arms and hold them close; but I know I can't, not with Ana at least.

"Hey princess." I say as I crouch down next to her, conscious of how close I am to Ana's beautiful legs, god I'd love to run my hand up them kissing as I went. Focus Grey! "there's no need to be scared princess," I smile at her, "Everyone here already loves you I promise." I tuck her hair behind her ear as she looks at me worriedly. "they can't wait to meet you." I smile and kiss her head finally getting a little smile.

"Christian." Mom chimes as I stand, making Madzie hide behind Ana again, as mom comes out of the kitchen still wiping her hands on a towel, followed closely by dad and Mia. Here it goes.

"hey mom." I smile as she pulls me into a hug.

"Ana!" mom gushes as she pulls Ana into a hug clearly surprising Ana and I suddenly feel a little hand grab my leg. I can't help but smile as I look down at Madzie, and stroke her hair trying to calm her.

"everyone this is Madalynn." I smile proudly looking from Madzie to where Mom, Dad and Mia were now all standing watching Madzie with fascination. I crouch down next to Madzie, "Princess this is Grandma, Grandpa and your Auntie Mia." I say pointing to each in turn.

"It's nice to meet to Madalynn." Dad smiles holding out his hand. Madzie looks at it for a few seconds then you see her stand taller as she steps forward to take it

"Everyone calls me Madzie." She says quietly as she shakes his hand making me laugh. My brave girl.

"definitely your mother's daughter." Carrick smiles glancing at Ana making Ana and Madzie blush and my heart swell.

"Hello Madzie." Mom smiles at her, "I love your dress."

"It's so pretty." Mia chimes in. I grab Madzie's hand and twirl her making her giggle just as crying floods into the room from the baby monitor.

"And that would be Ava." I smile at Madzie making her giggle again.

"I'll get her." Mia smiles as she rushes off towards the bedrooms.

"dinner will be ready in about 10 minutes." Mom smiled as we walked to the lounge area. Ana sits in the chair furthest from the sofa that my parents sat on, she was still nervous. Madzie stood close to her looking around.

"Did you want a glass of Wine?" I smile at Ana trying to think of a way to get her to relax, she nods smiling shyly. "Did you want a drink princess?"

"Yes please." Madzie chimes still looking around trying to take everything in.

"I'll help you, I need to check on dinner anyway." Mom smiles following me into the kitchen.

"it smells delicious mom." I smile as I grab a bottle of wine, Mom grabs several glasses

"So, have you and Ana talked?" trying to act like she didn't just completely change the subject. And here's the real reason she followed me in here.

"Not yet, we're going to talk tonight" I sigh

"I hope so son, she needs to know what's happened."

I just nod and carry on pouring everyone a drink, while mom made some juice for Madzie and Ava. I carry the tray with all the drinks into the lounge while mom sorts dinner. I place it on the coffee table, I hand Madzie and my dad there's, before grabbing mine and Ana's wine. I sit on the arm of Ana's chair as she takes a large gulp, making me smile, just as Mia comes in carrying Ava

"But where's Auntie Kate?" Madzie asks as Mia puts Ava down on the floor near some toys.

"Kate is on her Honeymoon with Elliot" Ana smiled at Madzie,

"What's a honeymoon?" Madzie asks curiously making everyone smile.

"It's a special vacation that you go on after you get married." Ana explained

"Oh! But why didn't they take Ava? It's not very nice to go on vacation and not take their baby." Madzie babbles making Mia laugh and me laugh.

"a honeymoon is only for grownups." I add looking at Ana trying to find the right words. She smiles gratefully at me.

"Oh, that's no fun." Madzie chimes making me laugh again.

"actually." I say quietly. I know Madzie didn't hear, but Ana did, and she elbows me, making me laugh again.

"Dinner's ready." Mom calls

"come on Ava." Mia calls as everyone stands.

"Mommy looks! Ava's walking" she gasps excitedly as she sees Ava walk to Mia

"I know she's getting big now." Ana smiles lovingly at Madzie.

Madzie runs after Mia and Ava climbing into the chair next to Ava's highchair making Ava smile at her. My precious girl. I held out the chair next to Madzie for Ana making her smile shyly at me, but it goes straight to my dick when she bites her bottom lip.

"So, have you had a good day Madzie?" Mom smiles as we all dig into the food. Madzie nods

"It was my best friend's birthday party. He's four like me." she smiles as she puts four fingers up. "his mommy just had a baby brother. He's so tiny. I got to hold him when mommy and I went to see him when he came home from the hospital. He's zero. Oliver says he cries a lot." Madzie babbles without stopping.

"she's a mini Mia." Carrick laughs making us all laugh and Madzie smile.

"Oliver is your best friend?" Grace smiles trying to make sense of everything Madzie had said.

"Uh huh." Madzie nods with a mouthful of food, before taking a sip of her drink. "I like your house. It's big." Madzie says looking around the dining room. If she thinks this is big, wait until she sees Escala.

"Thank you, sweetie, but this isn't my home. It's Christian's" Grace smiled at Madzie

"Grandma, Grandpa and Mia live in Seattle with me." I smile at her and she frowns, oh no. "I stay here when I come and see you princess, but I work and live in Seattle." I try to explain, not wanting her to get upset like last time. I notice everyone had stopped eating to watch, the only noise coming from Ava bashing her spoon on her tray.

"You not staying here?" Madzie asks and she sounds sad.

"Munchkin, when you go to school and I go to work, Christian will go back to Seattle to his work, but when you have no school he'll come and spend time with you. Like he did today." Ana says soothingly to Madzie and I could kiss her for trying to help.

"And I'll call you every day after school, so you can tell me everything you've done." I add, I know I'm adding this for me just as much as for her, I don't think I'll be able to go a day without seeing or talking to her now I've finally met her, let alone a week.

Everyone sits in silence watching Madzie.

"Ok." She suddenly says and takes a mouthful of food and I let out the breath I didn't realise I was holding and I see Ana do the same.

"grandpa lives in Seattle." Madzie suddenly says as if nothing had just happened, then frowns and looks at Dad.

"Mommy I have three grandpas?" she asks looking at Ana.

"Three?" I ask frowning.

"I have Grandpa Ray he lives in Seattle, and Grandpa Bob and he lives with Grandma and now…" Madzie says, stopping when she looks at Dad curiously who smiles at her.

"Yeah princess you do." Ana smiles as she strokes Madzie's hair. "You're a very lucky girl." Which makes Madzie giggle

"so, I hear you like to sing and dance Madzie." Mia smiles at her

"yep." Madzie smiles popping the 'p' "I do ballet." She adds as she eats another mouthful just as Ava throws a piece of food off her tray and it lands next to Madzie's plate.

"No silly, eat it." Madzie laughs at Ava making Ava smile at her and everyone laugh

"so, how's work going Ana?" dad asks kindly and I feel Ana tense as the focus has turned on to her.

 **APOV**

"It's going good, we have a few books being released next week and then a couple of book tours coming up."

"how do you manage to do tours with Madzie?" Mia asks curiously.

"It depends on who the client is and where the tour takes them. I can mostly get someone else at work to do them now I'm editor, but when I can't I take Madzie with me and my mom comes along to watch her, and on the odd occasion my friend Becca and I will do the tour together, so we would take it in turns to watch the kids…Becca is Oliver's mom." I say as I take a sip of wine

"I can't imagine doing it on my own, just watching Ava these few days has been hard enough and that was without work." Mia sighs as she tries to get Ava to eat something. My stomach twists at Mia's words and I feel Christian stiffen next to me. He keeps placing his leg against mine and my stomach flutters every time.

"It definitely wasn't easy Madzie would constantly catch chest infections, or croup especially in winter but when she hit about 11 months old was when things took turn for the worse." I stroked Madzie's hair as I remembered the first time it happened. Madzie smiled happily at me.

"Why what happened?" Mia asked after I didn't say anything for a few moments.

"Wh…When Madzie would get herself worked up, she'd pass out and start turning blue."

"What?" Christian suddenly tenses panic clear in his voice, making Madzie look at him.

"She's fine now, she's not passed out in nearly a year." I quickly say to him,

"What was wrong?" Mia askes but I'm looking at the panic on Christian's face as he watches Madzie who was playing peek -a- boo with Ava.

"nothing they can find, she had all the tests and they all came back clear."

"What tests?" Christian suddenly asks looking at me.

"She had blood tests, an EKG to check her heart and an EEG to check for seizures." I feel him grab my hand under the table. I don't pull away I just squeeze back, "They didn't find anything wrong." I say trying to calm him a bit, I know exactly how he feels, I've been going through it for years, every time Madzie cried I would panic she'd end up in hospital again. To see her limp and blue is the scariest thing in my life.

"Breath holding attack." Grace says looking from Madzie to me, and I nod.

"What's that?" Carrick asks looking between Grace and me.

"It's where the baby unintentionally holds their breath when they get upset, frustrated or hurt and they end up passing out because of it." Grace explains, "How long would she be out?" she asks me.

I glance at Christian before I answer. "Most of the time only a few seconds, but a few times just over a minute, those times she was taken in for oxygen and checks." He squeezes my hand tighter.

"did they give her anything for it?" Grace asks.

"They put her on inhalers to help with her airways. And just monitoring them, but she hasn't had one thankfully for I think just under a year now." I look at Madzie who has Ava giggling and silently pray it stays that way.

"I need something stronger." Christian breathes as he downs the last of his wine and Grace gives him a pointed stare. What's that about? Christian sighs runs his hand through his hair and heads to the kitchen and comes back a few minutes later with a bottle of wine and refills all our drinks.

After dinner had finished we all headed back into the lounge and talked happily together while Madzie and Ava played happily with the toys. Christian sat on the arm of my chair again, his arm stretched across the back, even though there was space on the sofa.

* * *

 **I hope your all still enjoying the story so far.**

 **The long awaited talk is Next chapter and will be up soon x**


	11. Chapter 11

**So here it is, the long awaited talk.**

 **I hope you all enjoy the chapter.**

 **Thank you emi17 for the idea of a flashback and**

 **thank you for all the amazing reviews and PM's**

 **please keep them coming x**

* * *

 **CPOV**

It was late by the time we got back to Ana's apartment, normally I would have insisted on them staying at mine, but we needed to talk, and it was probably better if my family wasn't in the next room. Madzie was asleep before we got back, and Ana managed to change her out of her dress and shoes into her nightgown without waking her, I watch as Ana closes Madzie's door and sighs.

"ok Christian, you wanted to talk?" Ana sighs as she sits down on the sofa. "I'm listening." She says as she looks at me. Fuck! Ok Grey you've got this. Just tell her. I start to pace the living room while I try to figure out how to start.

"Christian."

Ana's voice snaps me out of it and I sink into the chair running my hand through my hair. "When you left." I sigh as the memory came flooding back. "when you walked out something in me broke. I couldn't function properly. I mean I was on autopilot, get up, dressed, go to work and come home, just for it to repeat again the next day. But something was missing." I looked at her. "You." She holds my gaze for a few seconds before breaking it.

"we couldn't have worked, I wasn't what you needed." Ana sighs shaking her head.

"You were exactly what I needed." I retort, "I have never wanted someone before, so it took a gruelling session with my therapist for me to finally come to terms with it. I wanted you back and I was willing to change." I say watching her, "I went to your apartment and Kate was there, she told me you had left, I couldn't believe it. I thought I had lost you for good, I lost it, I couldn't sleep, wasn't eating, wasn't going to work…I started to drown my sorrows in whiskey… Kate wouldn't tell me where you went but I figured it was either Ray's or your moms. So, I looked for you and found you were staying with your mom. So, I needed a plan, but I kept panicking that you wouldn't forgive me and give me another chance… but I finally came up with a plan and was going to start it the next day, as mom had made me promise to come to family dinner as I had missed the last couple. Kate was there, and she was fuming." I couldn't sit still any longer and started pacing again. I could feel Ana watching my every move. You can do this Grey.

 *****FLASHBACK*****

"What the fuck Grey! What did you do to her?" Kate practically screamed at me as soon as I entered the house.

"What the hell are you talking about Kate?" I sigh, I need another drink if I'm going to have to put with her all night.

"Ana! What did you fucking do to her?" Kate spat angrily drawing the rest of the family to the commotion. Ana?

"what is this about?" Grace asked looking from Kate and me

"I don't know, I just come in and she starts yelling at me." I shrug, if this is about Ana I definitely need another drink.

"As if you don't know." Kate says angrily and pulls out a folded piece of paper and shoves it at me. I step back before she can touch me but grab the paper. I open it and the blood drains from my face as I see it's a copy of the contract.

"What did she say?" I say as my head snaps back to Kate.

"Nothing! She won't fucking talk to me." Kate snaps. If Ana didn't talk then where the hell has this come from.

"Where did you get this?"

"I found it in one the Jackets you left at mine."

"What? What is it?" Elliot asks, and mom tries to take it from me, but I don't let her.

"What did you do? If you hurt her, I'll make your life a living hell." Kate said venomously

"Kate." Carrick warns but he's still watching for my answer.

"This is none of your business Kate, so stay out of it." I threaten

"The hell it isn't, she's my best friend and you've driven her to the other side of the country." She spits, "you know she said she's never coming back." And I see tears in Kates eyes. I didn't know what to say to that, my plan was to get her back, but she'd already told Kate that was never going to happen. I couldn't stay there any longer, I stormed out.

 *****END FLASHBACK*****

"I went back to Escala and hit the bottle. I had lost all control. I don't know when or how but Elena showed up while I was drunk, and I told her how I'd lost you and in turn lost myself…I was nothing without you…I fell back into sub mode, I didn't even realise I was doing it, I just couldn't stand not being without you. And I couldn't stand not being able to control what happens between us…so I just let go of control." I'm still pacing. I don't dare look at Ana otherwise I might lose my nerve. Just keep going Grey, get to the end. "Elena thought she'd take the chance to be the Dom again." I hear Ana gasp. "she had just tied me up and…and gagged me." I'm going to be sick. "when mom walked in."

"oh my god!" Ana breathed, and I can't look because I don't want to see the disgust I know will be in her eyes.

"Yeah." I sigh. "I don't know if it was the amount of alcohol I had drunk or the shock of losing all control, but I passed out at the sight of her. When I finally came back around, Elena was gone, and I was lying on the sofa, mom and dad were both there. As you can imagine they had a lot of questions, they had found the contract next to a load of empty bottles. But I wouldn't talk… I don't know, whether it was I wouldn't, more like I couldn't. I was empty, there was nothing left in me…I scared the shit out of my mom. I don't remember how long I was like this, mom said it was nearly a week, and had I continued like it for much longer mom was going to get me admitted to a psych ward or somewhere. It was Mia who finally broke me or woke me I should say." I had stop pacing and was staring at the picture of Ana and Madzie skating. "she was just babbling away about her day like she did everyday she came to see me; the post had arrived, and she sat next to me holding a parcel and opened it. it was a set of books." I look at her finally. She's watching me intently "Tess of the d'Urbervilles" her eyes went wide at the name. "at the sight of them the dam broke. I've never cried before Ana, not since I was little. But hell, it all came out. I think I scared Mia, she ended up calling mom." I walk towards her and she doesn't move away so I sit on sofa next to her. "I tell mom everything Ana. She was a mix of emotions, but I think she was mainly relieved I was talking. She made me see Flynn nearly every day and after a while I started to feel like I was coming up for air, but I promised myself I'd never go in the red room again." I look at her trying to gage her reaction, but she's a mystery to me. "It's gone. I got rid of it, after it caused me to lose you, I didn't want anything to do with it. I…I still can't tolerate people touching me, but I don't need the rest." Ana still hadn't said anything, "once I felt more like myself I went to find you, but you had already left your moms. I tried to move on, I tried to forget about you and let you live the life you deserve without me screwing it up."

Ana stares around the room not saying anything.

"Say something Ana." I plead, I need to know what she's thinking.

"I'm so sorry Christian, if I had known what you were going through…" she shakes her head closing her eyes.

"Hey," I stroke the side of her face, so she opens her eyes, "I don't blame you for leaving Ana…You leaving made me hit rock bottom, which is what I needed to see how fucked up my life was."

"I'm so sorry for not telling you about Madzie, I was just so scared, of what you might do or say, and before I knew it years had gone by and that just made it harder." Ana gushes waving her hands about not looking at me.

"I'm not mad at you Ana. I mean I won't lie I was seriously pissed when I found out," Ana finally looked at me and I can see tears in her eyes. oh no don't cry baby. "you've done an amazing job raising her Ana, I don't know how I would have coped with everything you've gone through with Madzie. I was a nervous wreck just listening to it." I wipe a stray tear away from her cheek. "I thought I was over you…but…seeing you for the first time at Kate's wedding." I shake my head as I look at her, still cupping her face. "It all came flooding straight back. I love you Ana, I always have, and I always will." Fuck! I said it. I can't believe I actually said it. I edge closer, god I want her so badly. Ana sighs and leans her forehead against mine closing her eyes. I stroke the side of her face, my thumb brushing against her bottom lip. All I need to do is lean forward and claim those beautiful lips.

"Christian." She sighs shaking her head. "We can't. I'm with Nathan." Ana breathes as she sits back up distancing herself. It's like a punch in the gut. Fuck! I really have lost her.

"Are you saying you don't feel anything for me anymore?" I say pain clear on my face at her rejection.

"Of course, I care about you." She sighs, care? Not love?

"Do you really love him?" I ask my stomach twisting and I'm not sure I want to know the answer.

"God! This is all so complicated." Ana groans and it's her time to stand up and pace. She didn't say she loved him, and I can't help but feel a glimmer of hope. After what felt like eternity watching her pace without saying anything, I couldn't take it anymore. I stand and pull her to me, my hands on her waist. But she wouldn't look at me, her hands resting on my biceps.

"What do you want Ana?" I ask watching her,

"I don't know." she shakes her head and buries her face in her hands.

"don't hide from me baby, please." I say gently as I pull her hands from her face, and I see tears running down her cheeks, and it makes my heart ache. "I'm so confused" she cries, "you and I were over." She gushes, "It took me a long time to get past us, I had even come to terms with the fact I will probably be alone for the rest of my life." Tears running freely down her cheeks, "Then I met Nathan," I tense at his name, "and things started to look brighter, I thought I could see a future, and…." She walks out of my embrace "…and now you're back and saying all this stuff I wanted to hear years ago." She shakes her head looking away from me.

"I know, and I'm sorry it's taken me this long to tell you." I say as I wrap my arms around her waist again, I can't stand not having her in my arms, "But I'm here to stay, I'm willing to fight for you, for us." I turn her in my arms and cup her face making her look at me. "Your it for me Ana. There's no one else," I declare gazing into the beautiful eyes of hers before leaning in to kiss her on the lips, but she pushes me away, shaking her head tears still streaming.

"Please Christian, I need time." She begs as she steps further out of my embrace, wrapping her arms around herself. I hate seeing her so fragile and lost and not being able to do anything about it. I nod slowly, and she walks away, I watch her go into her room and close the door firmly behind her. I stare at her door, I know I should probably leave, but I can't bring myself to leave. What if she needs me? but what if she doesn't? I sigh and run my hand through my hair. I walk into Madzie room and sit of the bed next to her, leaning against the headboard, just watching her sleep, trying to calm myself, what if I really have lost her?


	12. Chapter 12

**Hey everyone**

 **sorry for the late update, my daughter has special needs and the last fortnight has been**

 **challenging to say the least.**

 **Anyway here's the next chapter, hope you like it,**

 **please keep your wonderful reviews coming x**

* * *

APOV

I stared at the clock for like the hundredth time, 7:30 am. I've been awake all night trying to figure out my feelings, and as I stare at the clock I feel no closer to an answer than I did last night. What the hell am I going to do? Nathan had called several times last night, but I couldn't answer, what do I say? He had said from the moment he saw Christian, that he was here for more than Madzie and I didn't believe him. I mean never in my wildest dreams did I think Christian would come out and say he loved me. I mean as far as I knew, I was the furthest from what he needed. And now? Crap! What do I do?

Nathan has always been there for me and he's amazing with Madzie, he makes me feel safe and wanted. And Christian? He's Christian, he's Madzie's father, he's my first, he's exhilarating and you never know what to expect. But he's also the cause of so much pain and heartache in my life, what if I let him in and that happens again? I don't think I could live through that again. What if I let him in and realise its Nathan I want? Crap what do I do? I sigh and roll out of bed, Madzie will be up soon, I need to start getting breakfast ready, Sunday is pancake's as it's normally the only morning we don't have to rush around, but we had made arrangements with Grace yesterday, we we're going to take Madzie and Ava to the zoo in central park. Crap! Why did I agree to that? Because I was naïve and didn't see how Christian felt about me, my subconscious jabs. I head out of my room and notice Madzie's door open, I don't remember hearing her get up last night, though I was crying most of the night so that could be the reason. I go to close the door, so I don't wake her with the coffee machine and there curled around Madzie on a Frozen duvet cover was Christian. What is he doing here? I thought he left last night. His top has ridden up slightly showing off his perfectly toned stomach, my stomach flutters at the sight of him, then twists as I remember the choice I must make. They both look so peaceful, I sigh and gently close the door just as the doorbell rings. Who the hell is calling at this time of morning? I open the front door only half aware I'm in pyjama shorts and cami.

"Nathan?" I say shocked as I see him standing there.

"Hey beautiful." He smiles his eyes roaming up and down my body.

"What are you doing here? I thought you didn't get back until tomorrow?" I ask as I let him in.

"My meetings finished early, so I got an earlier flight," he smiles as he wraps his arm around my waist and kisses me on the lips. "I tried to call the last night, but you never answered." He says looking at me, "Are you ok?" he suddenly says, crap how bad do I look? I haven't looked in a mirror yet.

"err yeah, I'm fine," I smile as I head for the kitchen, "I didn't sleep well last night." That's an understatement. He wraps his arms around me from behind, making my back flush with his chest and my stomach twists. Why does it feel so right, yet so wrong at the same time?

"I missed you." He breathes as he kissed my neck.

"Morning."

Oh my god, I'm going to be sick. I felt Nathan's body tense as he heard it and his head snap up to see Christian standing at the breakfast bar, hair still ruffled from sleep.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Nathan said venomously, and I see him glance to me taking in my pyjamas again as Madzie comes running into the kitchen giggling, I step out of Nathan's embrace, my stomach in complete knots.

"Mommy daddy was sleeping in my bed." She giggled at me, "Nathan." She beams as she sees him and hugs his legs.

"Hey Munchkin." Nathan smiles at her. I can feel Christian watching me, I glance at him and then at Nathan. I can't breathe.

"I'm going to get dressed." I mumble as I walk as fast as I can to the bedroom, closing it as my heart starts racing and I was finding it hard to breathe. I find myself sliding down the wall near the door to the floor, bringing my knees to my chest. Shit I can't breathe. I haven't had a panic attack in years. I rest my head on my knees and close my eyes. Just breathe damn it! you just have get through today and then you can panic all you like later, now breathe.

To say breakfast was awkward was an understatement, and Madzie inviting Nathan to the Zoo just made it worse. I could feel Christian constantly looking at me as Nathan talked to me and kept touching my arm or thigh. I couldn't eat my stomach felt like it was on a roller coaster that never ends. Whenever I made eye contact with him he'd give me his breath-taking smile making my stomach do a triple flip before plunging off a cliff.

Christian's family was surprised to see Nathan when we arrived at the Zoo, I'm guessing they got the wrong idea when Christian didn't come home last night and got Taylor to drop off clothes this morning as they keep looking from Christian to me.

Madzie is attached to Christian as we walk around, she is loving all the attention she's getting from everyone and getting to spend time with Ava. I couldn't help but smile when Christian sat her on his shoulders making her squeal with delight. Nathan's been at myside with my hand firmly in his, the whole time, his thumb gently stroking circles on back of my hand in his comforting way.

"You know I'm here when you're ready to talk about whatever is bothering you." Nathan whispers into my ear before kissing me on the temple.

"I know, thank you." I smile at him, "But this I have to figure out on my own." I sigh as I watch Madzie still sitting on Christians shoulders laugh at something Mia had said to her as she points at the monkeys. Christian beams when he hears her

"So, we we're thinking we could stop for lunch now, before we head to the penguin feeding" Grace smiled as she pushed Ava's empty stroller while Carrick carried her in his arms.

"sounds like a plan to me." Mia smiled tickling Ava as she came up to them, Christian nods in agreement making Madzie laugh as she grabs hold of his hair.

"Sounds good to me." I quickly smile as Grace catches me watching Christian and Madzie.

As Carrick walks past Ava puts her hands out to me.

"Hey cutie." I smile at her as I scoop up into my arms. Ava gives me a cute little smile, "she looks so much like Elliot." I smile

"Poor kid." Christian chimes smiling at Ava making me laugh. his eyes sparkle, and his smile widens at the sound, as he starts walking next to me, and I realise it's the first time I've laughed since the talk. I suddenly feel Nathan's arm on my lower back and I quickly look back to Ava.

"Ava what does a monkey say?" I smile at her trying to avoid both guys who were watching me.

"oo aa." Ava says bouncing on my hip.

"I didn't know she knew that." Christian laughs as he lifts Madzie off his shoulders as we enter the café.

"Yeah Kate got her to do it last time I saw her." I smile at Ava, "Ava what's a lion say?"

"RAAR!" Ava roars as she wrinkles her little nose and holds her hands up like claws making everyone laugh.

I somehow ended up sitting in between Nathan and Christian. God shoot me now! Nathan sat close and kept his hand on my thigh as everyone chatted happily, Madzie the star of the show. Christian kept leaning his leg against mine, even if I moved it he'd simple find it again. I kept avoiding his glances and focused on Madzie. You're here for Madzie, you can panic later I kept chanting in my head but that all went out the window when I felt Christian's hand touch my thigh and the all too familiar tingle run through my body. I nearly jumped out of my chair at his touch making everyone look at me and Nathan frown.

"Err, sorry." I say blushing, "I'll be back in a minute." I gushed as I rushed away before my panic rises.

"Mommy!"

I turn just as Madzie comes barrelling up to me. I scoop her up and she hugs me tightly while I breathe her in trying to calm my nerves. I can feel everyone watching but I don't look, I just carry her away to the bathroom.

"Are you ok mommy?" Madzie asks as I sit her on the counter next to the sink.

"I'm fine princess." I smile but she strokes my face wiping a tear I hadn't realised had escaped frowning. Crap! I sigh trying to get my body back under control. I smile and kiss her head, "Are you having fun?" I smile at her trying to change the subject. She nods but still watches me cautiously as I freshen up in the mirror. "what's your favourite animal we have seen so far?" I smile at her.

"the snow leopard." Madzie smiles, "It was so pretty."

"oh, I loved that too, but I can't wait to see the penguins." I smile at her knowing I have successfully changed the subject

"Oh, me too, daddy says we are going to see them have their lunch." Madzie beams excitedly.

"Yeah we are." I smile. "why don't we got get a dessert." I smile at her as I give myself another quick glance in the mirror before we head out.

"Yay!" Madzie squeals happily, making me laugh, I will get through this, for her.


	13. Chapter 13

**HEY**

 **SORRY IT'S TAKEN SO LONG,**

 **LIFE JUST GOT IN THE WAY AND THEN WITH**

 **THE MOVIE COMING OUT :-)**

 **I KIND OF GOT WRITERS BLOCK** **BUT I'M BACK NOW SO**

 **SO HERE IS THE NEXT CHAPTER**

 **I KNOW IT'S FAIRLY SHORT BUT I WANTED**

 **TO GET SOMETHING OUT FOR YOU.**

 **IT'S HALF TERM HERE NOW SO I WILL HOPEFULLY POST**

 **ANOTHER CHAPTER IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS TO MAKE IT UP TO YOU ALL :-)**

 **ENJOY!**

* * *

CPOV

Her lips are on mine, so soft, as her hands snake up into my hair. My hands wrapped around her waist pulling her closer, as I run my tongue across her lower lip asking for entrance, which she gives me almost instantly. My tongue explores her mouth as my hands explore her body. Oh god, Ana! Her body feels incredible pressed up against mine. One of my hands roams down to her thigh pushing her dress higher. God her skin is so soft, I want her so bad.

"Ahem! Sir."

My eyes snap open. Taylor is looking at me through the rear-view mirror. I glance around and see I'm alone in the back of my suv, fuck! It was just a dream.

"We have arrived sir." Taylor announces. I nod, and he gets out to open my door, while I quickly adjust myself, as my dick is pressing hard against the tight fabric of my jeans. God what that woman does to me.

I push the button on the elevator and lean against the wall as it lifted back to reality. God how I miss them already. knowing I can't just get in the car and see them whenever I wanted. My mind wanders back to earlier today.

***FLASHBACK***

Ana just walked back out of the bathroom with Madzie and headed straight for the food counter. I'm on my feet heading towards them in an instant. I need to know if she's ok, she's been off all day and every time I get a glimpse of her eyes she looks lost. I hate that I've done that to her, but I'm to selfish to stop, I want her; her and Madzie are my life and the thought of losing her to that fucker Nathan scares the shit out of me.

"Hey" I say as I stop next to them. Madzie sitting on Ana's hip as they browse the cakes.

"Hi daddy." Madzie smiles at me, "Mommy said I could have a cake." Madzie beams at me while Ana barely glances at me. Crap! The fucker is winning. He's been all over her all day with his little possessive touches, it's been driving me crazy and I'm seriously on the verge of beating the shit out of him for it. only thing stopping me is Ana, she lets him touch her, but one touch from me and she's running away. I can't let him win, I need her.

"That's great princess, which one are you going to get?" I smile at Madzie as I step closer

"Hmmm…I want that one please." Madzie smiled pointing, I grab it and place it on the tray in front of Ana. "Mommy can Ava have one to?"

"I don't know baby, you'll have to ask Auntie Mia." Ana smiled at Madzie and put her down, Madzie quickly ran off to ask Mia.

"Talk to me Ana, please." I step closer when she doesn't look at me.

"I'm fine Christian." Ana breathes still not looking at me

"No, you're not." I'm inches from her now, I'm standing sideways facing her, her shoulder nearly touching my chest, but the darkness is quiet. "what's going on? That fu…Nathan…" Ana rolls her eyes as she knows what I was about to call him, "…has been able to touch you all day, and I hate it…but I touch you and you ran, so talk to me, is…is he what you want?" I am dreading her answer, but I can't resist placing my hand on her lower back. Ana's breath catches as the familiar warm tingle shoots from my hand through my body. "You feel it too." I breath and Ana finally looks at me but before she could respond my hand is being yanked off her body.

"Keep your hands off her." Nathan seethes just as his hand makes contact with my chest pushing me backwards away from Ana, and the darkness threatens to consume me.

"OH god!" Ana gasps but I can't see her through the darkness threatening to take me. My anger flaring, and I loomed ready to beat the shit out of the guy for touching me. He's already standing ready to fight and I'm ready to put him on his arse, when my light steps in-between us.

"Nathan stop!" Ana holds her hands up to him, "Christian are you ok?"

I glance at Ana and see she's genuinely worried about me and the darkness seems to vanish. I take a steady breath and nod before glaring back at the fucker.

"I knew you were here for more than just Madzie." Nathan seethed "She's mine." Nathan drips venomously just as Madzie comes running up to us. Ana scoops her up as Nathan steps closer to her. I see Ana frown slightly at his words and my heart soars at the thought there may still be hope for us yet.

"I think that's up to Ana to decide." I say as I take a step closer to Ana and stroke my hand through Madzie's hair as she looks from Nathan to me and back, "Ana knows everything about why I'm here." I add and I'm glad to see the fucker looking shocked as he glances from me to Ana.

"Guys will you stop it. we're here for Madzie." Ana snaps not looking at either of us. "so can Ava have a cake?" She asks Madzie turning away from me and Nathan. Nathan looks taken aback by Ana's dismissal, but I can't help but feel hopeful, maybe she's not that into their relationship as I thought.

***END FLASHBACK***

The elevator pings bringing me back from my thoughts. I step into the quiet and empty penthouse.

"welcome home." I sigh sarcastically. I glance at my watch which is still on New York time it was just gone 9. I pull out my phone and switch it on as I crash onto the sofa.

Just got home, it's so quiet, I miss Madzie's constant chattering J - C x

I stare at my phone hoping she'll reply. After the confrontation with Nathan the rest of the day was awkward. Ana pretty much avoided us both and just focused on Madzie and Ava and then went home without either of us, saying she just needed space and time to think. Nathan really didn't look impressed by this. I hate being so far away knowing that fucker can see her whenever. Then there was Madzie, I hated saying goodbye, even though I've known her for a few days, she has found her way into my heart. My mind flicks back to the moment she ran to me crashing into my chest and wrapping her little arms around my neck when it was time to say goodbye. I was stunned when the darkness was nowhere to be found and hugged her tighter.

My phone pings and I can't help but smile when I see its from Ana.

 **She misses you too – A**

I frown at the small message, no kiss.

I miss you too. I miss having you in my arms. I know you felt it when we touched earlier. Talk to me baby please – C x

 **Yes, I felt it too, but it doesn't mean I know what to do. I mean I'm still with Nathan and you live on the other side of the country! How's that supposed to work. Then there's other things that need answering – A**

Yeah, your still with Nathan but does he give you that shock every time you touch? As for the distance thing, we can make it work until either I move there or you and Madzie moves here. Like I said you're it for me baby, if you give us another shot I promise to never let you go again. And what other things need answering? – C x

 **Elena! - A**


	14. Chapter 14

**OK So a few days later than i promised**

 **so sorry**

 **but to make it up to you all i'm**

 **posting 2 chapters instead :-)**

 **enjoy and please leave a review.**

 **Thank you for all the lovely reviews, PM's and messages on FB**

 **you guys make writing** **worth it.**

* * *

 **APOV**

I sigh as I stare at the tedious contract I've been trying to get through all morning but last night's conversation with Christian still running through my head is making it extremely hard to concentrate. After I had sent the text about Elena Christian had phoned me, swearing Elena was out of his life in every way. Apparently, they had been business partners too, and after what happened at the penthouse he liquidated all her companies and Grace has blacklisted her in all the social world, well after apparently giving her a huge black eye, I couldn't help laughing at that. Afterwards we chatted about everything, he told me more about what has happened in his life since I left, I told him about mine and Madzie's, it was nice and for the first time since Christian came back into my life, I felt calm. He didn't push me to make a decision which I am grateful for, I think he realises that I need to time to figure everything out.

I woke up this morning to a bunch of messages from Nathan asking if I was ok and that we need to talk. I kind of know what I want now but it's still hard, my fear getting the best of me again. But I agreed we need to talk and so we plan to meet up for lunch today, so I really need to get my arse in gear and finish the damn contract on time.

Knock! Knock!

"come in." I sigh annoyed at another thing distracting me from my goal.

Brittany pops her head in

"I have a Mr Grey here to see you Miss Steele, he doesn't have an appointment, but he is insisting on seeing you."

Mr Grey? I frown, Christian went back to Seattle yesterday so how could he be here? Maybe it's Carrick or Elliot.

"Its ok let him in, I have a few minutes." I smile at Brittany, I really don't, but I'm intrigued at who it is and what they want. Brittany nods and a few moments later Christian is strolling into my office in all his glory, dressed in a dark grey suit, white shirt and 'the' light grey tie. My Stomach flips and butterflies form at the sight of him as I stand to greet him.

"Christian? What are you doing here?" I ask curiously trying to get the butterflies under control.

"Nice to see you too Miss Steele." He smirks making me smile. "I take it from your surprise to see me, you haven't seen the press today then."

I shake my head frowning, "no not had a chance, I've been too busy." I say and point to the paperwork spread out on my desk as he takes a seat. Christian pulls out his phone and quickly types something in and hands it to me. it's the website for Seattle Press and there was a huge a photo of Christian holding Madzie and me standing with them, it looks to have been taken at Oliver's birthday party. The headline says, 'Is Seattle's most eligible bachelor a father?'

"there are several others that are running the story as well." Christian informed as I skimmed through the article

"Wait. They know my name." I say shock glancing at Christian and he just nods apologetically, as I scroll down and see and old photo of me and Christian, that was taken at my graduation. "so, I take it your back because of this?" I ask as I hand back his phone having seen enough.

"yeah, I want to set you and Madzie up with a CPO. Taylor's already got someone in mind." Christian explains.

"but I've not seen any press about." I argue, I don't want someone following me around all day.

"You've clearly not left your office this morning have you." Christian smirked. I spun my chair around and walked to the window, sure enough there are several reporters camped across the road.

"Great." I sigh frustrated

"I'm sorry," Christian says getting up and walking around the desk towards me. "if I could shield you and Madzie from this, I would, but it comes with who I am, you know that." He sighs as he stands extra close, I can feel the heat rolling off his body.

"It's ok Christian, it's not your fault, you didn't do this." I glance up at him and my stomach twists and I feel light headed at the site of him so close. "I actually have something for you." I quickly say moving back towards my desk trying to get my equilibrium back. "I was going to post it to you but since you're here." I search through my outgoing mail on my desk and pull out the one addressed to Christian and hand it to him. he frowns curiously as he takes it. I watch as his face lights up when he sees the signed form allowing him to get a paternity test done. Suddenly he pulls me into a hug and the familiar tingle shoots through my whole body, my arms instantly go around his waist.

"Thank you." He breathes as he buries his face in my hair. God it feels so good to be in his arms. We stand there holding each other for a moment, my head resting on his shoulder, breathing in his glorious smell, "God I've missed having you in my arms baby." He breathes as he nuzzles into my neck, I feel his lips gently kiss my neck and my breath catches, just as someone knocks the door. I quickly jump away, feeling myself going red.

"Come in." I call as I turn back to my desk

"Hey Ana did you ge…Oh sorry I didn't realise you had company." Will stopped midway into my office, his blonde hair sticks up everywhere in its usual style, he was tall and slim with bright green eyes that were darting from me to Christian.

"It's fine Will, what's up?" I smile as I notice Will clearly checking Christian out.

"Oh, did you get a chance to look at the Rhodes manuscript?" Will quickly responded walking up to my desk, as he kept stealing glances at Christian who had stepped closer to me without me realising.

"Will, this is Christian Grey. Christian this is William Barnes." I introduce as I search for through the pile of manuscripts. Will's eyebrows hit the roof when he hears Christian's name.

"Nice to meet you Mr. Barnes." Christian smiles playing the ever cool and collected CEO.

"Likewise." Will smiles shaking Christian's hand, "What brings you to our publishers?"

"I'm just here to see Anastasia." Christian smile as I finally find the one I was looking for.

"here you go." I smile handing Will the manuscript. "I think it's worth a shot, get Tess to set up a meeting,"

"Sure thing." Will nods and starts heading for the door. "Oh, did you get the email about the Flemings tour? Chrissy can't do it."

"what?" I say frustrated as I quickly open my email. Crap! The tour starts in three days and it's too late to rearrange it. "Fine but Madzie will have to come." I say frustrated, I hate pulling Madzie out of routine to come on tours and Will knows it. He nods apologetically

"I'll look after Madzie." Christian chimes in just as Will opens the door. His eyebrows hit the ceiling again, but I ignore him and look at Christian. He was looking at me hopefully and something else I can put my finger on, but just the look alone sends shivers through me.

"The book tour is in three days Christian, I'm sure you have a ton of work to do, I can't expect you just to drop it all." I breathe surprised I can actually find my voice with my insides doing the salsa at his penetrating gaze. God get a grip Ana!

"I'm the boss I can just move everything around and what can't be moved Ros can deal with." Christian shrugs as if it was nothing as he steps closer. "She's my daughter Ana, she comes first." I heard someone gasp and we both turn to see Will still standing in the doorway, I had completely forgot he was still here; great now I'm going to be the hot topic in the office gossip, Will was notorious for his gossiping. As soon as he sees both Christian and I looking at him he quickly scampers away closing the door behind him.

 **CPOV**

Ana watches and sighs as Will closes the door behind him, I step closer hating the distance between us, I want her back in my arms. My hands finding her waist and gently pull her closer, so we are mere inches away.

"You're not alone anymore Ana, let me help." I breathe as I gently stroke a loose piece of hair behind her ear. Her arms hang at her side, I want her to touch me and that shocks me. I've never wanted anyone's touch before. "Can we at least talk about me watching Madzie? How about lunch?" I ask hopefully

"I can't I already have plans to meet Nathan for lunch." Ana says looking awkward. I can't help the frown that spreads across my face at the sound of that fucker's name. "don't be like that Christian, I'm still with Nathan." Ana sighs stepping backwards to break our connection, but I just move with her, not ready to let her go just yet.

"and is that what you want?" my stomach twist at my words, "to be with him?" part of me doesn't want to know the answer. After last night on the phone and this morning, I felt mine and Ana's connection grow, lighting up what had always been there between us. I just hope I'm not the only one feeling it. Ana looks down and gently shakes her head no and I feel like my heart is about to explode, she doesn't want him. "what do you want Anastasia?" I breathe trying to keep my hope from drowning me. please say us baby! Please! Ana glances up at me shyly biting that bottom lip and I feel it go straight to my dick, god what this woman does to me.

"do you want us baby?" I ask quietly as I gently tug her lip free with my thumb, her breath catching in her throat as I do it. she nods gently, and I can't help the huge grin that spreads across my face. I pull her flush against me, her hands finally touching me on my upper arms as one of mine wraps around her waist while the over cups her face. I lean in to kiss her, but she quickly covers my mouth with one of her hands. I frown but kiss her fingers

"I need to talk to Nathan first." She explains making me groan and pull her tighter as I rest my forehead against hers.

"Can't you just call him and tell him." I groan as my thumb gently strokes her cheek. I've been dying to kiss her since I first saw her again at the wedding. Ana chuckles at me making me just want to kiss her more. God she's going to be the death of me, I swear.

"He's been good to me and Madzie Christian, he deserves more than a phone dump." Ana smiles

"Fine." I huff reluctantly, knowing she's right, but not liking it. "But you'll have a CPO with you."

"Christian." She huffs exasperated lifting her head away from mine making me look at her. "I don't need a babysitter."

"Please don't fight me on this Ana." I plead, as Ana steps back slightly breaking our full body contact, and I hate it. "I just want you and Madzie to be safe, you're my life, I couldn't bare it if something happened to either of you and there was something I could have done about it." I try to explain praying she won't fight me on this. I need this. I need to know they are safe. Ana looks at me searching for something.

"Fine." She huffs. I smile and go to kiss her, and she stops me again with her hand. I groan making her laugh.

"your killing me here." I groan, "fine he can have your lunch, the sooner the better." I grumble making her smile. "can I come with you to pick up Madzie today?"

"sure." She smiles warmly, as she slowly moves out of my embrace back to her desk. I sigh at the emptiness, but I know she has work to do. I quickly pull out my phone and message Taylor.

A few moments later there's a knock at the door.

"come in." Ana sighs

"Miss Steele, I have a Mr. Taylor here saying her was requested by Mr Grey?" Ana's mousy brown-haired receptionist says poking her head in through the door looking from Ana to me and back again. Ana glances at me and I just smile making her roll her eyes.

"It's fine Brittany, send him in." Ana says. Seconds later Taylor walks in with Sawyer and Prescott in tow. Ana's eyebrows shoot up as she sees them both but doesn't say anything.

"Hello Taylor," she smiles at him.

"Miss Steele." Taylor nods with a small smile. "This is Sawyer and Prescott." He introduces, and Ana shakes each one's hand. "They'll be your CPO's" Taylor informs.

"Two?" she asks looking at me

"One for you and one for Madzie." I shrug as I step closer to her.

"Madzie's in preschool with its our security procedures Christian." Ana says exasperated

"I know, Prescott will be over seeing their security, while Madzie's there." I explain, "and Sawyer will be with you at all times."

"Christian," Ana sighed, "Is this really necessary."

"Yes. I need to know you two are safe." I place my hand on her lower back and look at her pleadingly.

"Fine." She finally sighs after a few moments.

"Thank you, baby." I smile at her and kiss her hair as I know she won't let me kiss her properly. "I actually need you to tell the preschool to give me rights to Madzie. I can't do anything until test is done but with your say, so it should be fine."

Ana looks at me and nods. "I'll give them a call and let them know."


	15. Chapter 15

**Here's the second chapter i promised**

 **enjoy x**

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 **APOV**

I sigh as Sawyer opens the door to the SUV Christian had assigned to me due to the press hounding us it's not safe to walk anywhere at the moment.

"Thank you, Sawyer." I smile at him

"Miss Steele." He nods as I get out. I walk towards the Entrance of the restaurant and see Nathan standing there waiting. He frowns when he sees Sawyer.

"Hey beautiful," Nathan smiles and leans in for a kiss on the lips, but I turn my face and he kisses my cheek instead. "what's going on? Who's this?" he says eyeing up Sawyer

"This is Sawyer, he's kind of my CPO." I explain, and Nathan just frowns even more.

"Miss Steele we should get inside." Sawyer interjects as he glances at the road. I turn to see some reporters piling out of a car.

"Miss Steele!" one of them called as they ran towards us.

"What the hell!" Nathan says as he sees them and Sawyer ushers us both into the restaurant standing guard at the entrance. "what is going on Ana?"

"The press found out Christian is Madzie's father." I explain as we follow the waitress to our table.

"God damn it. I knew him turning up would be trouble." Nathan said annoyed as we took our seats and my stomach twists at his words.

"So, I was thinking we should get away for a while." Nathan smiles as he looks at me over his menu. "…and this disaster with the press makes it a perfect time. We can get away for a few days until the madness wears off." He nods towards the window and I glance and see the reporters with the cameras crammed against the glass trying to get a shot.

"I can't. I have to go on tour in a couple of days as Chrissy broke her leg and can't go." I explain trying to ignore the reporters, wondering how the hell I'm going to tell Nathan about Christian.

"Oh ok, well I can come with you, watch Madzie while you're working then we can enjoy the evenings." He says giving me his mouth-watering smile, I sit there waiting for the butterflies I get when Christian gives me his smile, but nothing.

"Err actually, Madzie might not be coming with me." I start nervously, come Ana you can do this.

"Oh, is your mom coming to watch her?" Nathan askes as the waiter comes over to take our order. My appetite suddenly non-existent so I just order a small salad, doubting I'd be able to eat even that.

"You not hungry?" Nathan frowns as the waiter leaves with our food and drink order. I shake my head and glance around the room before looking at the reporters again. God this is hard enough as it is without having it on camera. How do I tell him its over?

"hopefully since he's back in Seattle the press will leave you alone soon and we can get back to normal." He says looking at the reporters as he reaches over to hold my hand that's resting on the table, his thumb rubbing comforting circles into the back of my hand, but its doing nothing for my nerves.

"Actually, he's back in New York." I say looking from our hands to him. Nathans thumb stops, and his head snaps up to look at me clearly not liking the fact Christian's here.

"What why is he back?"

"He flew back when he found out about the press to make sure Madzie and I were ok and had the protection." I explain.

"Ok so he's done his so-called duty and now he'll go back to Seattle and this will all just blow over." Nathan say nonchalantly as he looks back at the reporters.

"He's not going away Nathan. He's Madzie's father." I say feeling slightly annoyed at Nathans attitude.

"Ana, doting on Madzie for two days doesn't make him a father, and besides he doesn't have any rights to her. You were smart to not give them to him." he smiles the last part. I seriously can't believe he just said that. I shake my head and pull my hand out of his as I feel my anger rising, "I gave Christian his rights today, and he's actually planned on having Madzie while I go on the book tour, so no Nathan this isn't just going to blow over." I snap

"What!" Nathan said his voice rising slightly making the people on the next table turn and look at us. "You cannot be serious Ana. You can't leave Madzie with him!" he spits the last word venomously

"He's Madzie's father Nathan he has a right to see her." I say coldly trying to keep my anger in check, the last thing we need is this to blow up with the press right outside.

"That's not what you were saying a few days ago." He snapped back as the waiter brings us our drinks. I had only order a soda as I must go back to work, but right now I could really use a glass of wine. I've rarely seen Nathan angry and I don't like it, he has a nasty glint in his eyes.

"Yeah well, I was wrong about him, he's changed, he's not who I thought he was." Nathan snorts into his drink at my words, clearly not believing me.

"Yeah, I doubt that, he'll say anything to get you on his side." Nathan sneers making my anger rise again. Does he seriously think so little of me? does he really think I just believe anything people say? He doesn't even know Christian, so he can't see how much he's changed. "He doesn't just want Madzie Ana! He wants you too!" he says viciously

"Yeah well he's got me." I snap making Nathan freeze in shock the pain clear on his face at my words. Crap!

"I'm sorry." I sigh, "I never meant to tell you this way," I say feeling guilty for blurting it out. "What Christian and I had, is still very much there, and I can't ignore those feelings." I say sadly as I look at him.

"Are you forgetting all the pain he caused you?" Nathan says quietly

"No of course not, but I caused him a lot of pain to when I left. More than I realised." I say as I take a sip of my drink, really wishing it was something stronger.

"Ana please think about this." Nathan pleads leaning closer over the table.

"It's all I've been thinking about for days Nathan." I explain, "I'm sorry it has to come to this, I really did like you Nathan, it's…it's just not the same as what I feel for Christian." I feel like I'm going to be sick, all I can see is hurt in his eyes, then like a flick of a switch that nasty glint is back in his eyes and it scares me a little. "I'm sorry, I should go." I say as I grab my purse

"But you haven't eaten yet." Nathan retorts

"I think it's best." I say as I stand. "Goodbye Nathan, I hope one day you can forgive me."


	16. Chapter 16

**HEY EVERYONE.**

 **I'M BACK.**

 **I'M SO SORRY IT HAS BEEN SO LONG SINCE I UPDATED,**

 **MY COMPUTER DECIDED TO BREAK ON ME SO I HAD TO WAIT UNTIL I COULD AFFORD A NEW ONE.**

 **I'M JUST GRATEFUL I SAVED MY STORY TO THE CLOUD :-)**

 **ANYWAY HOPE YOU ENJOY AND PLEASE LEAVE A REVIEW.**

 **I PLAN TO UPLOAD ANOTHER CHAPTER IN A DAY OR SO.**

* * *

16

 **APOV**

I sigh as I close the front door on Sawyer and Prescott, grateful they hadn't tried to come in, it was bad enough being walked to my own front door. I stroked Madzie's hair away from her face as I laid her down on the sofa. She was burning up and had fallen asleep on the elevator ride up to our apartment.

I grab my phone and head into the kitchen so as not to wake her.

"Ana."

"Hey, sorry I know your probably busy..."

"I'm never too busy for you."

I couldn't help rolling my eyes and smile at Christian's words. "Well I'm just calling because I know we agreed to meet at Madzie's day care later, but she's been sent home sick, so…"

"What! Is she ok?"

"she threw up at day care. I think she's caught a sickness bug," I explained as I glance over at her sleeping little form as I grabbed the sick bowl.

"are you at home now?"

"Yeah, we just got in." I placed the bowl on the floor next to Madzie's head.

"I'm on my way."

"Ok." I breathed feeling relief.

I wanted to tell him, not to panic or rush, but I couldn't, after lunch with Nathan, and the constant badgering from the press and now Madzie unwell, I just really needed to see him. it unsettled me a bit that I felt that way. I was so use to being on my own and dealing with things on my own, even when I was with Nathan, I never felt the need to depend on him in times of stress, I always managed just me and Madzie. Just then Madzie started coughing and I had just managed to get the bowl to her mouth before she started to throw up; All thoughts of how unsettled I felt flew out the window as I focused on Madzie.

"Mommy, I don't like being sick. I don't want to be sick again." Madzie whined sluggishly as I finished changing her into her nightie after cleaning her up.

"I know baby, hopefully the medicine you just had will make you feel better," I smiled lovingly at her trying not to show how much I hated seeing her like this. I want my happy little girl back. I laid her back on the sofa with her favourite teddies Elsa and Sven and flicked on her movie. She lay there with her thumb in her mouth watching sleepily and didn't even look up when there was a knock at the door.

"Hey." I smiled as I opened the door to Christian and in an instant, I was wrapped in his arms and I felt suddenly relieved. His face was buried in my hair at the crook of my neck. I felt him sigh and his body relax slightly as his lips gently brushed against my neck.

"How is she?" He breathed as he lifted his head to look at me before glancing towards the noise of the tv, his face etched with worry. I couldn't help myself from reaching up and stroking the side of his face, he trapped my hand in-between his cheek and hand before turning to kiss my palm.

"she's still running and fever and being sick." I sighed, and he frowned with worry, "But she'll be happy to see you." I smiled stepping out of the embrace to walk to the living room, Christian never letting go of my hand

"Hey baby, look who came to see you." I smiled down at Madzie. She didn't bounce up excitedly like she would normally, she simply turned her head towards my voice, thumb still in her mouth.

"Daddy." She smiled sleepily as she saw him and went to sit up.

"Hey princess." Christian smiled as he quickly went and sat on the sofa next to Madzie in what looked like hope to prevent Madzie from getting up anymore. Madzie quickly curled up on the sofa next to him, laying her head on his lap, thumb still firmly in her mouth.

"missed you daddy." She said quietly as she settled back to watching the movie.

"I missed you to princess." Christian replied lovingly as he stroked her hair away from her face, checking her temperature discreetly. He looked at me worriedly as he felt how hot she was. Suddenly she whined and sat half up, and I instantly grabbed the bowl and silently gave a pray of thanks that I fast enough when she started to be sick again. Christians hand gently stroking her back.

 **CPOV**

I glance down a my poorly little girl for the umpteenth time. Stroking her hair absentmindedly, she's finally fallen back to sleep after throwing up for the second time since I got here, Tears streamed down her face by the end as her body kept trying to empty her already empty stomach; I hated seeing her in so much pain. She looks so helpless and fragile as she sleeps, her hair sticking to her clammy skin.

Once I was certain she wasn't going to wake up if I moved, I gently got up off the sofa and headed for the kitchen to find Ana. I found her busy cleaning up after dinner. Something she had refused to let me help her with.

I sighed as I wrapped my arms around her waist, bringing her back flush with my chest, and kissed her neck, I closed my eyes breathing her in, letting her calm me.

"is she asleep?" she asks as I feel one of her damp hands stroke my arms around her waist.

"Yeah," I sighed lifting my head to glance over at the darken living room, I can just make out her little sleeping form from the glow of the tv. "I hate seeing her like this. I don't know how you did it on your own. Think I would be panicking constantly if you weren't here." I sighed as I hugged her tighter and buried my face in her hair and neck.

"it wasn't easy." She sighed as her hand came up to stroke my neck, "I'm glad you're here for her now. I hate that I've had to work while she's sick, it's just I have so much that needs rearranging now I have to go on this book tour." Ana glances over at Madzie, "I just hope she's better before I have to leave."

"before you leave?" I lifted my head hopefully, "Does that mean your letting me watch Madzie?"

"the tours for a week and a half Christian. Are you sure you can get that much time off? I can always phone my mom..."

"No!" I said shaking my head and stopping her from finishing her sentence. I turned her around in my embrace her damp hands resting on my biceps. "She's my daughter. I want her. Work will survive without me. you and Madzie are more important." I cupped her face as she gazed at me for a few seconds before she sighed and nodded.

"Thank you." I beamed and hugged her tightly, kissing her neck and shoulder. "I never did get to ask how lunch went." I asked between kisses, I could her Ana's breathing speed up with every kiss and I loved that I could still affect her. My fingers creeping under the bottom of her top stroking the bare skin of her lower back, as her hands snaked up into my hair, and it felt so good.

"It…" she breathed just as someone knocked on the door stopping her from finishing her sentence.

"Ignore it." I breathed holding her tighter, never breaking from kissing my way slowly up her neck to her jawline.

KNOCK! KNOCK!

The knocking must have woken Madzie because she suddenly started to whine. I groaned but reluctantly released Ana. She smiled flustered at me as she stroked my face.

"I'll get the door, you sort Madzie?" she smiled apologetically. I sighed and nodded and quickly went to sort Madzie.


	17. Chapter 17

**APOV**

I watched Christian rush towards Madzie as I headed for the door. I only had a chance to glance who it was as I opened the door.

"Ana!" Christian yelled, panic clear in his voice. "Madzie! Madzie breathe!"

I rushed back just in time to see Madzie flop in Christians arms, only vaguely aware of being followed. Oh god not again.

"Here." I rushed and scooped up Madzie into my arms as I started counting in my head. Christian stood next to me clearly about to panic. "she's ok." And I don't know if I said it to calm him or me. "You're ok baby, come on. Mommy's got you." I said soothingly to Madzie as I watched her lips going bluer, I cradled her in my arms as I stroked her face and back as I paced counting the seconds in my head. "come on baby, wake up." I could feel Christian watching my every move as he ran his hands through his hair.

"What the hell? I'm calling an ambulance. Shouldn't you be doing CPR or something?" I glanced at the guy who had spoken only vaguely aware of who it was as I continued my stroking of her back and face as I paced.

"No. not yet." I shook my head at them

"Ana." Christian pleaded looking completely lost.

"NOT YET!" I snapped, "35…36…37…Come on Madzie, you can do it…40…41…" and then I heard the most glorious sound. She breathed. "That's it baby. Mommy's got you." I sighed with relief

"OH, thank god!" Christian breathed rushing to me,

"Christian, can you get her day care bag near the door, it has her inhaler and spacer." I asked as I stood stroking Madzie's face as she lay still not yet moving, but breathing, the colour already coming back into her.

"I'll get it." a familiar voice responded before Christian could even move. Christian had one hand on Madzie's head and the other on my waist.

"Hey, there she is." I smiled at Madzie as she opened her eyes. She looked at me in the dazed way she normally does after a breath attack. "You're ok baby." I smile at her as I go and sit on the edge of the sofa, Christian followed closely.

"Here." They said as they handed me Madzie's inhaler and spacer.

"Thanks." I say not looking at them. "Here baby girl." I smile at Madzie as I help her sit up before placing the spacer over her nose and mouth as I push the inhaler. "Big breaths."

"Will someone please tell me what the hell just happened?"

Madzie turned her head to look at who had spoken.

"Elliot? What the hell are you doing here?" Christian said only just realising they were here.

"Daddy." Madzie breathed and tilted her head to see him sat behind her, as I held spacer still around her mouth and nose

"I'm here princess." Christian said kissing the top of her head. "finish your medicine." he added before kissing her head again before turning back to look at Elliot.

"Kate wanted to stop here on the way back, so she could talk to Ana." Elliot explained as Kate went and sat on the arm of his chair.

"Well, really not a good time." Christian sighed looking back to Madzie who was staring at Elliot.

"Yeah no shit!" Elliot replied looking from Christian to Madzie. Kate hit him on the arm "ow!" Elliot said looking at Kate confused, "Oh right. Sorry." Elliot amended as Kate pointed to Madzie as she pushed the spacer away, clearly finished.

"Anyone going to explain what just happened?" Elliot asked again looking from Christian to me. Madzie looked at me confused, clearly wondering who he was.

"Madzie that's Ava's daddy. Your uncle Elliot." I explained to her. "Madzie suffers from breath attacks. "I then said looking at Elliot. "It's where the child stops breathing unintentionally for a few seconds."

"I thought she stopped them." Kate said looking worriedly at Madzie.

"I thought she had," I nodded, "But she's not well, so it has probably triggered it."

"You knew she did that?" Elliot asked looking shocked at Kate.

"Yeah I witnessed her do it a few times when I came for visits." Kate nodded. "scary as hell when she goes from crying to limp in a matter of seconds."

"Definitely." Christian sighed, stroking Madzie hair.

"I think daddy needs a cuddle." I smile at Madzie, "you scared daddy."

"Sorry daddy." Madzie said as she crawled onto Christians lap.

"That's ok princess." He smiled as he wrapped his arms around her, "Let's just try not to do it again, daddy's too young to go grey." He added making us laugh.

"What's wrong with Madzie?" Kate asked looking at Madzie sitting in Christians arms sleepily with that dreaded thumb in her mouth again.

"Fever and Sickness." I answered watching Madzie. I sighed looking at Elliot and Kate. "I'm not angry you told Elliot Kate," I suddenly felt very drained, "I understand why you did it." I added looking from Kate to Christian with Madzie, "But you had no right to tell Madzie." I added looking back at her. "Look I know you guys wanted to talk, but I really just want to get Madzie to bed." I added suddenly not letting Kate answer as I really didn't want to get into it right now. Kate nodded sadly and looked down at her hands.

"Well we don't fly out until tomorrow afternoon, maybe we can catch up before then." Kate said hopefully.

"is it alright if we stay at the apartment with you bro?" Elliot asked, "I didn't realise you were in New York otherwise I would have asked earlier."

"Sure." Christian nodded as Elliot stood followed by Kate who was still waiting for me to answer.

"Maybe we can meet up for breakfast, but I want to see how Madzie is first," I answered as I stood followed by Christian carrying a sleepy Madzie. Kate smiled nodding hopefully as we all walked to the door. I held the door open for them, Christian came and stood next to me.

"You not coming?" Elliot asked Christian when he saw he wasn't leaving

"No. I'm not leaving her like this." Christian said stroking Madzie's back, who had laid her head on his shoulder watching Kate and Elliot. Elliot nodded

"It was nice to finally meet you Madzie." Elliot smiled at her, "Hope you feel better soon." Madzie gave him a smile around her thumb but didn't say anything.

"I'll phone you in the morning and let you know." I smiled before closing the door.

"You don't mind if I stay do you? I don't thi…" Christian started, and I cut him off by pulling him into a kiss. His spare arm instantly going around my waist pulling me closer as my hands cup his face.

"What was that for." Christian breathed as a smile spread across his face. I just smiled and shook my head before taking Madzie into my arms, not quite believing I just did that.

"Come on, let's get you some medicine and finish getting ready for bed." I smiled at Madzie

"can I sleep in your bed mommy?" Madzie asked as she rested her head on my shoulder as we headed off towards the kitchen.

"of course, you can baby." I smiled as I kissed the top of Madzie's head.

"I'm just going to message Taylor about Elliot." Christian called as he watched us walk away.

"Ok." I smiled over my shoulder at him, feeling myself start to blush.

I quickly got Madzie some medicine while I checked her temperature before heading to the bathroom to brush her teeth and get changed into my cami and shorts for bed. By the time Madzie and I had finished in the bathroom Taylor had turned up with a change of clothes for Christian. I smiled shyly at him as I headed into my room to get Madzie settled while he changed in the bathroom.

"So, I have to go away for work in a day or so." I sighed as I stroked Madzie's hair as she snuggled up against me.

"is grandma going to come with us?" Madzie asked as I saw movement out of the corner of my eye. Christian was standing there leaning against the doorframe in nothing but pyjama bottoms, his arms crossed over his chest and a smile on his lips.

"no sweetie grandma's not going to look after you this time and you're not going to come with me this time." I started to explain as I nervously lifted the duvet behind me to invite Christian in. Christians smiled got wider and he was instantly at the bed sliding in next to me, his hand sliding across my waist.

"So, who's going to look after me?" Madzie frowned "Nathan?" She looked at me confused and I felt Christian freeze for a moment at his name.

"No, baby. Nathan's not going to be around anymore." I said watching Madzie's reaction as snuggled up closer, so my back was nearly flush with his chest. Propping his head up on his elbow as he looked at Madzie.

"Is that because you kissed Daddy?" Madzie said matter-of-factly then yawned. Christian laughed quietly and kissed my bare shoulder sending the usual warm tingling through my body. Madzie looked up when she heard him.

"Hi daddy." She smiled clearly surprised and happy to see him laying behind me.

"hey princess." He smiled, as he stroked Madzie's face lovingly with the hand that was on my stomach.

"That's part of it." I smiled at Madzie, as Christian kissed my shoulder again. "Daddy is going to look after while I'm away." I said as Madzie looked from me to Christian.

"But I'll miss you mommy." Madzie said sadly as she laid her head down snuggling closer to me.

"I know. I'll miss you too. But we will talk every day and I'm sure you will have lots of fun with daddy." I say as I kiss her head.

"Ok mommy." She yawned

"go to sleep princess. We will talk about it in the morning." I smiled at her

"Love you mommy." She yawned, her eyes closing. "Love you daddy." She sighed before her thumb went in her mouth.

"We love you too princess." Christian smiled as he watched her fall asleep as I laid my head on the pillow next to her. Christian wrapped his arm around me snuggling closer, so his chest was flush with my back. It felt so good to be in his arms. He kissed my neck as he nuzzled in it, he sighed sending another wave of tingles through my body as his breath hit the back of my neck.

"God, I love having you in my arms again." He breathed. "Madzie's not the only who's going to miss you when you go."

"I know me too." I sighed as my hand absently stroked his arm that was wrapped around me as I closed my eyes.


	18. Chapter 18

**Thank you for all your reviews.**

 **please keep them coming, I love to hear your thoughts and ideas.**

 **hope you enjoy this next chapter x**

* * *

 **APOV**

Madzie's fever finally broke during the night and she hasn't been sick since yesterday. She woke up near enough back to her happy self, so we planned to meet Kate and Elliot at one of my favourite pancake houses, I had taken Kate there a few times when she visited. It was only a couple of blocks from my apartment but with the press still hounding us we still had to take the car and have sawyer and Taylor escort us to the door. Elliot and Kate were already here waiting.

"Auntie Kate." Madzie beamed and ran to Kate and hugged her happily.

"Looks like someone is feeling better." Kate laughed.

"Dude, only you could make breakfast a press photo opp." Elliot laughed at Christian as he slid into the booth opposite him. Christian rolled his eyes and shaking his head at Elliot as Madzie slid in next to him.

"mommy why were all those people shouting and taking pictures of us?" Madzie asked as I sat down next to her.

"Unfortunately, that's part of having the Grey name." Elliot smiled cheekily at her.

"My names not Grey." She frowned at him confused

"Yeah but your daddy is." Elliot smiled kindly at her, Madzie just looked at Christian confused.

"Unfortunately, that's what happens when someone makes silly amounts of money princess." I start making her look at me. "And your Daddy makes lots. so, some people think that because he makes lots of money they should be able to know all about daddy and his family and so they like to ask silly questions and take lots of photos to put in the newspapers." I explained as Christian's hand rested on my thigh, his thumb stroking lovingly.

"That's silly." Madzie giggled a little as Christian grabbed the menu.

"Yes, it is." Christian smiled at her innocent response, "so what would you like for breakfast princess?" he smiled as opened the menu for her to see. Kate grabbed my hand over the table making me look up from my menu

"I'm so sorry." She said earnestly, "I was in that delirious shock of finding out I was pregnant. You had popped out for something or other, and Madzie was upset that her best friend Oliver and now Ava were both getting baby brothers or sisters." Kate started to explain quietly leaning over the table to me, so Madzie wouldn't over hear. "I tried to tell her that Ava was her family and that she would always have her to play with, but Madzie didn't believe she was family, so I told her that Ava's daddy was her daddy's brother and that made us family. I didn't think, I'm so sorry. She didn't seem to really think about that fact, she was just happy Ava was family and it had completely slipped my mind by the time you got home."

I sighed and glanced at Madzie laughing happily at something Christian had said to her, remembering the many times she has asked for a baby brother or sister over the last couple of months and how upset she got every time I told her that she probably wouldn't get one and that it was just her and me.

 *****FLASHBACK*****

"did you have a nice birthday princess?" I smiled lovingly at her as I tucked her into bed, Nathan leaning against the doorframe watching. Madzie nodded excitedly.

"I got so many presents." She giggled hugging her new Ana teddy, "And I got to make a birthday wish because I blew all my candles out in one try." She added holding up one finger, making me laugh.

"Well go to sleep now, so the birthday fairy can make your wish come true." I smiled lovingly at her

"Yay!" she beamed and snuggled into bed quickly. "I can't wait for my baby brother or sister." She said excitedly closing her eyes tightly pretending to sleep. My breath caught in my throat at her words and I saw Nathan move out the corner of my eye, but I didn't look at him.

"Sweetie, the birthday fairy can't bring you a brother or sister." I said sadly hating to wipe the happiness off her face.

"But I wished it mommy, and the birthday fairy makes the birthday wishes come true." Madzie said frowning.

"I know she does princess, but even birthday fairies can't make baby's." I started to explain, hating to be the bearer of bad news yet again. She has been asking for a new baby brother or sister since she found out Oliver was getting one and then Kate got pregnant and it just made her ask more. "Only mommy and daddy's can do that." I said stroking the side of her face wishing I wasn't the cause of that sad look on it.

"Well can you get me a brother or sister? Pleeeeeaaaaassssseeee mommy," she began her whining again, "I promise I will share all my toys with them."

"I know you would princess." I smiled at her kindness. "And I know you would be a great big sister, but a baby is lots of work princess, and mommy can't look after you and a baby all by herself."

"I'll help." Madzie whined sitting up again "And Nathan can help too." She added seeing Nathan standing near the door and pointing at him, making me stomach twist uncomfortably. I glanced at Nathan and he just stood there with his arms folded across his chest smiling at me.

"The answer is no princess. I'm sorry." I say firmly looking back at Madzie. She frowns and pouts sticking out her bottom lip. "Now get back in bed, and if you are quick and think of another wish, the birthday fairy may still have time to grant that one."

"But I don't want anything else." Madzie said tears welling up in her eyes as she laid back down in bed, laying on her side facing away from me.

"I'm sure there's something you want, how about you wish for that Sven teddy you want." I smile trying to change the subject. I leaned down and kissed her head before leaving the room.

"you know, if you ever did want another one, I wouldn't be opposed." Nathan smiled as he wrapped his arms around my waist as I closed Madzie's door.

"no, one is enough thank you very much." I laughed uncomfortably, not wanting to think about having another kid, especially this early in our relationship.

 *****END FLASHBACK*****

"It's fine Kate," I said looking back to Kate, "I know how she can get. But you need to know she's not a kid, who forgets things easily. She holds onto them." I added, and Kate nodded still looking extremely sorry.

"hi, my names Lainey and I'll be your waitress this morning." A slim brunette smiled at us as she pulled out her order pad. "What can I get for you today." She smiled as she looked at everyone at the table, her eyes lingering on Christian appreciatively. I couldn't blame her, he was looking extremely hot in his dark distressed jeans and light t-shirt, that hugged his muscles perfectly.

"What do you want Princess?" I ask

"why, I'll have buttermilk pancakes with bacon and eggs thanks." Elliot smiled cheekily at me making us all laugh.

"You're not a princess." Madzie giggled at him,

"I don't know, I've seen him dress up with Ava. He could pull it off." Kate laughed make us all laugh again and Elliot make a funny face at Madzie.

"Your silly Uncle Elliot." Madzie giggled again making us all laugh again and Elliot smile at her cheekily, our waitress standing there watching.

"I'm sorry princess Elliot I was talking to Princess Madzie." I laughed "Madzie what would you like for breakfast?"

"My mistake." Elliot laughed winking at Madzie.  
"Princess Elliot." Madzie giggled before looking at me, "can I have chocolate chip pancakes please" she smiled sweetly at me

"so, when are you heading back to Seattle? I thought you flew back with the others Sunday." Elliot asked Christian after the waitress had left with our order.

"Yeah I did, but then the press found out about Madzie, so I flew back Monday morning to sort out there CPO." Christian said as he looked from Elliot to Madzie who was busy drawing on the activity sheet the waitress had given her. "But I'm not going back to Seattle for at least two weeks now, as Ana's got to go away for work so I'm going to be looking after Madzie."

"oh no, I thought you got all the tours covered for the next few months?" Kate said looking at me as our waitress arrived with our drinks.

"I did have, but Chrissy broke her leg on her weekend ski trip, and since the tour starts the day after tomorrow I can't get anyone to cover." I sigh and take a sip of my coffee.

"didn't I say that trip was a disaster waiting to happen." Kate laughed shaking her head, making me laugh.

"I know…I should have had a backup ready…so much for being the optimist." I laugh

"so which tour is it you have to cover? It's not that arrogant guy is it? 2 weeks with him and I'd quit." Kate laughed the last part.

"No," I laugh, "Will has Evan's tour, I made sure it was a guy touring with him." I said rolling my eyes.

"How is it you know so much about Ana's work?" Elliot asks curiously and Kate and I both look up to find Christian and Elliot both looking at us.

"We talk." I shrug smiling

"Hey just because my best friend lives in different state doesn't mean we stop talking." Kate smiled,

"Why do you think she pays for the phone bill." I laugh looking at Elliot making Christian and Kate laugh.

"So why do you need to make sure a guy does Evan's tour?" Christian asks.

"Let's just say he's very handies with women" I say as I look from Christian to Kate

"That's putting it politely." Kate says taking a sip of her drink. Christian frowned at Kate and I guess he didn't miss her pointed look.

"why do I not like the sound of that?" Elliot said looking from Kate to me, Christian nodded in agreement, looking at me.

"It was a long time ago, before I became editor," I sigh, "it was nothing." I say giving Kate a pointed look as she shook her head at my answer.

"why do I not believe you." Christian said watching mine and Kate's interaction.

"seriously, it was a long time ago, and I handled it." I sighed at him and took a sip of my drink.

"Ana!" everyone looked up to see who had called me.

"Nathan." Madzie smiled as she saw him walking up to our booth.

"Hey munchkin." Nathan smiled at Madzie. "Ana can I talk to you for a sec." He smiled looking at me, ignoring everyone else on the table. "Please." He added when I didn't move or respond. I felt Christian hand that had still be stroking my thigh freeze at the sight of him.

What the hell is he doing here?

"How did you know I was here?" I asked still trying to get to grips of being here. The memory of that glint in his eyes flashed through my head.

"Brittany." He smiled, and I nodded as I remembered telling my assistant where I'd be if anything pressing came up before I could get into work. I made a mental note to remind her not to give out my location to people. I felt Elliot and Kate's confused looks and Madzie sat looking from me to Nathan and back again, Christian had his composed CEO mask on.

"Sure." I smiled awkwardly and got up avoiding anyone's eyes. I followed Nathan to little way down the aisle to an empty part of the restaurant.

"What are you doing here Nathan?" I asked once I refused to follow him any further.

"I'm here for you." He smiled moving closer to me, he placed his hand on my waist.

 **CPOV**

I watched Ana follow that fucker to the other end of the restaurant, my stomach twisting the further the got. The only thing keeping me in my chair was Madzie as she watched Ana walk away and then went back to happily colouring next to me. Ana stopped, and Nathan turned around to talk to her, I couldn't see her face, but she looked tense. My hands balled into fists under the table when I saw that fucker put his hand on her waist, my anger rising.

"wonder what that's all about?" Kate said as Ana stepped back out of Nathan's touch.

"Looks like trouble in paradise." Elliot piped in and Kate nodded.

"They broke up." I said through gritted teeth as I watched as Ana shook her head at something he said.

"What?" Kate said looking from me to Ana, "Why?"

"Daddy kisses mommy now." Madzie pipes in as she leans over the table to change her crayon. Both Kate and Elliot's snap to me.

"You kept that quiet." Elliot smirked at me,

"when did that happen?" Kate asked just as our waitress brought our food.

"Ana!" I call her ignoring Kate's question. Ana turns to look at me and nods, before saying something to Nathan and then heads back to our table; Nathan stood there watching her go, he glared at me for a few seconds then turned and left.

"everything ok?" I ask Ana as she sits back down next to Madzie, my hand automatically goes to her back as I gently stroke down it. Ana smiles and nods then glances at Kate and Elliot, obviously realizing I was touching her in front of them.

"OH, Madzie blew the lid off that secret." Kate looked at Ana and smirked, making Ana blush, making Elliot laugh

"Welcome back to the family." Elliot smiled.


	19. Note

Hi Everyone  
Thank you so much for showing your continuous support of my stories.  
I am so sorry about leaving my stories without updates for so long  
life just seemed to get really hectic and I could never find the time  
or energy to continue.  
But you will be pleased to know I have started work on some  
new chapters so there should hopefully be an update in a few days.  
xxxx


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